I’m picturing a twenty with some amalgam Harrie/Teddy monster face and I’m slightly mortified yet...

Shot on horseback and kept on moseying, that’s badass level decorum.

Sugar for me, I have the most completely odorless flatulence on earth but it inevitably sounds like somebody pressed a Vaseline coated basketball into a tuba that was being played by an enormous genetically enhanced elephant.

Fake your deaths and commit insurance fraud, become chronic necrophiliacs, work back from that dark place, open a bakery together. Now this is where things get tricky, using your dark past as motivation to escape this world your spare time is consumed with contacting an alien race, using equiptment you’ve fashioned in…

I recommend a body pillow, mine’s named Eduardo Van TastySac. So completely drenched in my semen he can actually stand up on his own. One of my proudest moments as a young adult....I’m tearing up thinking about his first step!

I actually ordered a giant vibrator made of male tears, I was going to eat/suck it like a popsicle until it’s frenetic movement numbed my jaw then just sadly spoon Spaghetti-O’s into my limp mouth, while laying on my kitchen floor in a Batman onesie listening to Wham.

Nothing better than a ginger-y soup when you feel like a jar of smashed assholes, good man!

God I love those applesauce pouches, used to just lick it out of the little cup like a cretin but I’ve grown so refined!

It would be actually pretty funny translated to like a Kroger or Ralph’s or something. The cashier would have to be all ‘I’ve smoked those camels since I was twelve’, ‘I always buy brownie mix, bacon, and a fifth of Jameson on Tuesday at midnight with my cigarettes’.

Actually I’m a visitor to your planet and my advanced physiology demands a precise amount of sucrose daily or my body can no longer tolerate your atmosphere. Now please stare into this red light for a moment?

I think a false veneer of happiness, while not anywhere near open hostility of course, is still pretty uncomfortable. It’s like I feel I need to wait for them to slip me a note that there’s hostages in the back room and I should go get help immeaditely.

Steal your recently deceased neighbors indentity, move to Venice and become an art thief who dabbles in sculpting scale replicas of whale genitalia out of Jell-O and making erotic wood block prints of Hey Arnold.

I’m really frustrated by my current play through of SMT 4: Apocalypse. They give you all these options to be a bad guy but if you actually choose them it’s completely inconsequential. There’ll be options like a-accept this defeated enemy on your squad or b-finish him for good. You pick b and it’s all, oh you decided…

With ya on that, wish it didn’t have to be such a grundle bundle.

Well that song is gonna be stuck in my head for the next twelve hours at least.

He really gruesomely bleeds out, begs and pleads for you to help him. Comrade comes back, disgusted at your lack of action attacks you. You kill him and you’re the villain of the game. Just cause you didn’t hold L2 and R2.

Well thanks for illuminating that dude! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve mentioned that I found Morrowind basically unplayable and been met with scorn and ridicule. I’m glad to have encountered somebody who gets where I’m coming from.

Right?!?! I’m so happy I’m not alone in thinking that. It’s like oh your half back has pretty good dexterity, must check most of his evade rolls huh? I wish I could apply your tactic of specious listening but man it starts and my eyes instantly glass over. It’s like a defense mechanism or something.

I laud your memory, I zone out hard during any type of sports talk. Folks start talking about fantasy football and I probably wouldn’t notice getting stabbed.

Hey I enjoy being corrected in a pleasant and informative matter. Thanks, I like knowing more things about stuff, for the most part.