I never really gave a shit about achievements in general.

Also probably pretty frosty on her nips.

Never thought I’d see the day Anthony Weiner’s package was a dowsing rod for political scandal. What a world.

Took off so fast there was probably an audible pop of air filling the vacuum of where my chubby little body was and ran screaming to my neighbors. He was an older guy who stayed home to take care of his wife most of the time so I knew Bob would be home. He called the cops, by the time they arrived the creeper was…

Well he did regularly kick my ass, broke my arm and chipped a few of my teeth but if taking a virtual cat fox monster is worse than physical abuse I was indeed the tormentor. What a sick fuck I was.

When I was young our house was broken into and I noticed the intruder hiding under my moms bed by looking in a floor length mirror she had. Guess who’s not a fan of using a bed frame?

Like after I eat Arby’s, I feel ya

Hey, it’s the internet, you fuck up and everyone jumps up your asshole like giant nuclear asshole-seeking ferrets. I forgive you

I think I’m most shocked Shaun Murray has a LinkedIn account.

When I first played Red as a small boy glitter and confetti blew out out of my ass with the fury of a thousand winds when I caught my first Pikachu in Viridian forest I was so jacked. Similar scenario when I convinced my childhood bully to trade it for his eevee cause I told him he got another one. He had his mom talk…

Happens to me all the time, probably cause I’m Quasiman and I’m only ever partially in this reality.

At this point why not have the twelve year olds be finger blasting each other’s log cutters and fart boxes respectively. Pokémon romance: Ash actively scorns you for forever

So if I want to play Skyrim again should I just pop the Legendary Edition into my PS3 and not fret over buying it anew?

Please tell me there’s not going to be a sudden resurgence of ‘arrow in the knee’ jokes.

I mean shit she made it through the fucking holocaust what’s a purse snatcher to her? What a boss.

Ultra-blergh

My spouse was nearly killed being jack knifed by a red and blue semi early last year. Now regardless of context even if it’s a cute costume whenever I see Optimus my brain just screams PRIME!!!! in Megatron’s voice.

It really blows that it’s taken so many years for women to finally feel comfortable to speak about men who assaulted/acted egregiously inappropriately towards them. Bums me out.

If you don’t care what people think why say anything at all? I would have to say telling somebody you offended to kiss your fucking ass is kind of a nuclear option. Just be ambivalent. Seems unnecessarily provocative. Being an asshole to people is a waste of time, and small.

Insult the disabled veteran, what a tactic.