If I had a nickel for every time I sewed one of my worms to my hand then inadvertently sewed my hand worm onto a woman’s genitals...Roughly five dollars.

Right, I’m sure Trump would have plenty of ‘jelly bean’ moments a year or two in. He’s obviously descended into his first bout of delusion already.

Well shit I can’t blame ya, I’m a sucker for fancy butter.

At once in a bread sandwich or individually?

Godspeed burrito, you’re doing good work.

Eat some meat before you sleep. Also capital rant, good stuff.

That picture looks like Mario is watching you sleep or shower or something equally creepy.

Donald Trump: Who needs reality anyhow? Literally yesterday a huge Trump Pence sign was placed in the field adjacent my house. I’m 6'1" and I can barely reach the top if I jumped. It’s my bulldogs new toilet area.

Those intrusive youths!

I mean she always keeps it above board, high road for sure. I’d love to hear what she’s actually thinking. If she just let him have it, unlubricated, straight from her brain.

Feels like chumming for sure.

Except the rust is actually thick clumps of noro virus mixed with weaponized fentanyl.

Cause it was a joke right? I mean it didn’t have the cadence of a joke but I think even Perd Hapley would get that one.

What does that mean he ‘won’t accept’ the results? He’ll throw a tantrum if he loses?

Loved that so much. Thank you fellow internet stranger.

He’s been sneaking into my bedroom at night and putting on a one man version of Cats.

CPR dummies creep me out. Don’t know why really, probably some traumatic childhood event I’ve mentally blocked.

I know I’m objectifying a woman based on her physical attributes but Barb has a killer butt. Watched that whole show over the span of a Sunday and besides the monster I remember Barb’s butt the most.

What a terrible pizza that sounds like. For a canvas that could be topped with an infinite number of things cheese pizza is the most boring fucking thing on earth.

What about Grimsby Chundleford? Does his or her plot line progress in a meaningful fashion? Will they add yet another Caroline?