I don’t know why people think Mayer is so dreamy. If I found his voice even remotely tolerable maybe there would be something redeeming but I’d rather jerk off to a documentary about bonobos or a Golden Girls marathon or Legos with crudely drawn genitals on them as opposed to sexy time with J-May. Oh who am I kidding,…

It sucks that those folks got hurt but I think those exploding Galaxy Notes probably caused more damage.

Metal Fear: Zomsplosion

Nothing like a toasty set of cockles

That Naked and Afraid spoof she did with Dinklage is probably my favorite SNL skit in recent memory

I thought Louie Anderson was dead...Good on you Louie, my expectations were thoroughly subverted.

Genetically engineered weaponized bees the size of rabbits with flame throwers for eyes

White after Labor Day?!?! YOU MONSTER!!!

Break me off a piece of that...Fancy Feast.......football cream

I used to work in game retail. We took this 360 that looked like it had been sitting in a decaying elephant carcass for a couple months. I didn’t want to take it but my boss pretty much demanded we take absolutely everything regardless of the state it was in. Next day I come in to open and the whole store was swarming…

I pretty regularly blast it with compressed air but I'll try the vacuum. Thanks for the tip!

There’s a pokestop down the street from my apartment. It’s adjacent to a corn field. I’ve counted at least three car sized swerve paths through the corn since the game came out. Folks were clearly slowing down to hit the stop and did some unintentional off roading. That or I guess they're really into corn...

I wonder what bear tastes like, I haven't consumed many omnivores...

My PS4 is starting to sound like a one lunged morbidly obese ninety year old strapped with two bandoliers of anchors from Spanish treasure galleons trying to climb Kilamanjaro. I fear its imminent demise and may have to upgrade in the near future.

I’d buy that for a million doll-hairs.

I’d pay all my savings (10'000 dollars in confederate money and an enormous golden phallus) for Jack’s throw pillow from 30Rock. ‘Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them to stay alive’. I’ve seen it on Etsy but I want an exact replica!

I feel like he’s a guy who gets uncomfortable even hearing the word ‘vagina’

There’s roughly ten of us that are okay. When the sun hits us rainbows shoot out of our asses and we’re all riding unicorns. Yes it’s pretty backwards at times but I think it’s kind of dangerous to generalize the character of everyone in an entire state. Again, totally realize there’s an exorbitant amount of racist…

That’s what I hate about you! I always really liked when Oscar says he’s generally a good person but he’s going to try and make Michael cry.

I have huge distaste, active repugnance for Trump, but as an Indiana native I think Pence is just a hot congealed bucket of herpetic snake jizz carefully molded into the shape of an older white man.