Why is this not part of Epcott?

“Yes. Elves fuck...unless they're REPUBLICAN elves..” **Snort**

I like the phrase "young codger"

the more you know **cue cheesy music and rainbow graphic**

Blenk?

I think that may be fear-induced urination, dear!

Dress is not pregnant, its basic science. Bill Clinton couldn't get Monica Lewinski's dress pregnant either.

So "closing your eyes and thinking of England" might actually be kind of hot?

I am curious what he did all that time. The few times I’ve been lost somewhere I didn't speak the language, I definitely didn't want to speak with anyone but just kept wandering until I hit on something familiar. I suspect this guy just got into that "just keep moving" mode and couldn't ask anybody for help.

Guy giving you a vasectomy

Pooping. We have to mention pooping. Like runny pooping. POOOOOOOOP!

If two guys stiffed me and then left and started blowing one another in their car, you're darn right I'd call the cops on them!

Hell, lets get all “Hunger Games” up in there. Super-PACS could fund supply drops from drones to provide food, medical supplies, and bladed weaponry to their chosen candidate.

My first thought is fracking.

Maybe your cat just watches until you fall asleep and then starts counting herself. "...21599, 21600...time to poke mom and dad!"