Just because you don't blame yourself doesn't mean you have to blame the other person. Sometimes social interactions go wrong just because people are not compatible and it doesn't have to reflect negatively on any of the people involved.

They'll find ways to show off other things. Some people want validation for their beauty, some want validation for other things. I've never met someone who didn't need validation of some sort.

It makes perfect sense that is is a bigger deal to agnostics and atheists who apparently have no clue what the catholic churchline on this topic actually is and has been for a quite a while.

Have they though? I've been raised very catholic (church every Sunday, dad a member of the parish council, brother an altar boy, mom reading the intercessions) and somehow failed to get that memo. Might be more of an American, rather than a catholic thing.

I think the distinction between disliking something a person does and disliking some instrinsic quality about them is a relevant one, although I would ask you to consider the high likelyhood that the judgemental people you feel so negatively about can probably also point to specific behaviours that justify their…

Well, you're being very judgmental and negative about gossipy people here (gossip is not always negative, for the record. People also often speak quite positively about others behind their back, even if it can still involve a lot of speculation about things that shouldn't be of any concern to them). But I kinda get…

Consider that you might not be as logical as you believe yourself to be either.

We enjoy admiring you from afar!

I feel you; can't say I'm free of this considerations either.

No, I'm sorry, for not having read the rest of the thread before replying. You've handled this very gracefully, so kudos to you for that!

Why would you think that? The study found that in some cases the shaming actually made things worse. Last time I checked "worse" was kinda the opposite of "better than nothing".

But that's kinda the point. Seriously, I strongly feel that actually dancing _well_ to this particular tune would defeat the spirit of the work.

Context matters.

No. Listen, I'm the kind of women who will never ever fit any conventional standards of beauty, and I have to admit that I haven't always been at peace with that. But High Fashion is the least of my problems. Those models are supposed to be _unconventional_ beauties; they're in a league of their own and don't affect…

Maybe there are so many other things she appreciates about him, that she married him anyway. Consider that women are constantly bombarded with the message that they would be shallow and downright irresponsible if they prioritized sexual compatibility in their mate choice. I'm not going to argue the wisdom of that, but…

1) Wow, you might have a chance to get with the guy who'll settle for you because he's too chicken-shit to talk to the one he's actually attracted to and has conveniently convinced himself that she probably has a shitty personality anyway, fox-grapes-style! What a great consolation.

Got me. (I was going by hear-say; got started too late to talk from personal experience). Of course you also make a great point about the short refractory periods, so I hope my larger point still stands.

I think it's partly because girls are just socialized to be more discreete about their locker-room talk. I mean, all that gifspam and swooning on tumblr and lifejournal and so many guys will still say with the most unshakable conviction that women are just not that visual, you know? All because we don't immediately…

The average dudebro's hate for less bulky masculine objects of female desire is a subject that holds endless fascination for me. On more than one occasion I've heard conspiracy theories that no girl could genuinely prefer the leaner, more graceful, more boyish types; those fangirls are all just brainwashed by some…

Wow. an anti-feminist peddling false equivalence. Typical misogynist .... well, I guess I'm going to take the high road here.