The thing is ... at a certain point, cosmetic surgery just plain fails to be convincing. And after that, it heads down the runway to horrifying.

Sophia Loren once said, indicating her voluptuous figure, “All you see I owe to pasta.”

fwiw I’ve had shirataki noodles before and these did not taste anything like those. much worse.

It’s like if Spaghetti O’s looked just a *little* more depressing than they already do.

“If you take a piece of chocolate, like a little bite, it’s like 350 calories,” said Trump

I have a wealthy friend who has several homes. One of these is in a gated community in Florida. All of her Florida lady friends look like various versions of Ivana Trump, except that most of them are thinner than her. They all are bleach blond and have had extensive cosmetic procedures/surgeries, which is their…

Post-Juvederm bruising, perhaps. (Or smeared lo-cal pasta sauce)

The benefits of costly food scams notwithstanding, oh Ivana: I hate being old too, but that thing that happens to the pruned, starved, sculpted, Restylaned, cold-skim-on-the-cafe-society face is just too creepy.

Just because you’re over 40 doesn’t mean you can’t...look like a Limited Edition Dan Marino Barbie dipped in Murphy’s Oil Soap

I’ve seen it at Marshall’s - very polyester basic and poorly made. I wouldn’t buy it on deep discount.

still looks tacky and cheap

Politics aside, this woman sells 99% garbage under her brand.. anyone who buys from her brand is out their goddamned mind.

I’m really glad Jameela Jamil brought it up again. Pointing out that he was just cast in a Quentin Tarantino film is great, now I have two reasons not to see Tarantino’s next film.

i mean considering we’ll all probably be nuked to bits by 4th of july, why not marry the first person you meet that you don’t hate?

My parents have been together for almost 30 and people are like, “wow that’s so amazing” and I’m always like, “slow your roll. It isn’t. It’s a whole...thing”

My parents knew each other for two weeks before they got married. They were married for 66 years.

Crack?

No, Ford isn’t a Trump lite, he’s just as bad. He’s said he wants immigrants shipped to northern Ontario to allow more room in Toronto for Canadian citizens. He made it pretty public, but your average Ontarian is a god damned idiot and would rather “teach the Liberals a lesson” and let a racist crack dealer be the…

The election of Doug Ford is especially awful for a number of reasons: