Once again I drop into a fantasy of moving to Juarez so I can send drones bearing misoprostil all over Texas. Yes I know this fantasy is dumb for so many reasons. I just feel so helpless.

When Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was first being debated, my slightly befuddled Okinawa veteran grandfather thought that gay people were trying to get out of serving because they were gay. “They BETTER serve,” he said. He was a quiet Catholic man from a tiny town in New Mexico. I’ve never understood how sexuality was…

Is it possible, without outing yourself, to say more?

He n ends to go to Dior. Dior needs him!

I’m imagining the fetus graveyard, which can fit in a planter. Microscopic crosses all around!

Now is the time to start an etsy shop for tampon coffins. Alas, I have no woodworking skills.

So should we pronounce this as ‘Sinrbrt’ or ‘Sinrb’or just ‘Sinr’?

Add a splash of grenadine and a maraschino cherry, and you have a Dirty Shirley.

The door handles at my parent’s house has a little scroll at the end. I’ve spent more hours than I'd like to admit trapped by a belt loop, unable to free myself.

They are there to represent Cat Nation, aka The Internet.

At least she’s been using a tongue scraper.

I’m from Albquerque and I fb wall is full of people cheering for Holm. It seems crazy that people I know are united around a vicious blood sport, especially when someone could be seriously injured.

I feel like, if the haters can get $80,000 on Gofundme for homophobic pizza, we should be able to set her up with a little something for books and hats. Can someone do this?

Isn't there an opening at Dior? They should snap him up.

Enjoy!

How people identify themselves is none of your goddamn business. You can believe whatever racist nonsense you like, and I can tell you to go pound sand, and that is what makes America great.

Really? Because in the America I live in a person can get knishes and dim sum and pupusas, listen to reggaeton and madrigals, and it’s really great! Diversity is beneficial to us and fun! Maybe difference isn’t so scary, if you can decide not to be threatened by it.

Additionally, we don’t need your compassion. Immigrants create wealth for communities, which has been proven over and over. Let the inimitable John Oliver explain it to you, vavoso.

How can a newborn be a troublemaker? (I suspect it's by existing, and being brown.)

I heard a rumor once that they get the contestants drunk in the green room before the show.