Frankie’s Twitter is real, btw. https://twitter.com/suckitaynrand

I strongly suggest you spend the next six hours binge-watching Grace and Frankie on Netflix.

This is dating myself but... when I was 10 years old my mother moved us from Philly to Westwood Ca. (a whole ‘nother story but it was actually a case of custodial interference.) Our neighbor in in the Melrose place looking complex was Barbara Barry. She played Gavin Mcleod’s wife on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”. She…

Your mum sounds rad as hell. Please thank her for the work she and other women did to make things easier and fairer for my generation.

I would build the most ridiculous fucking house. Not just average wealthy gaudy, but really awesome and weird. There are many requirements, some more weird than others: a environmentally-conscious as possible, huge porch, private balconies, an absolutely giant walk-in closet (the kind that has its own sitting room), a…

My mom has so much mom in her heart that she couldn’t give it all to the two independent, happy, well-adjusted girls she raised. So she became a surrogate mom to anyone out there who needed a little more mom in their life. The best was when my sister came out while attending a small college in the South and started…

I think it’s even better when she has to be one character, acting like another character. It must get really confusing to mix two characters like that instead of just playing one or the other. Wonder if she’ll ever have to pretend to be someone pretending to be someone else

I started to wonder about why society framed up menstruation as something disgusting.

I’m not going to win one until they feature the category “the time you ate so much candy so fast that you didn’t know where it went and got mad at your roommate”.

John Travolta is looking a lot like Jude Law’s character in A.I.

Jenner also said he’s a conservative

“YOU’RE A WANKER, NUMBER NINE!!!”

I only get uncomfortable during take-off and serious turbulence. (I’m far less afraid of flying than I am of riding in a car.) I usually close my eyes, lean back, and focus on my breathing.

“Clothing with names is the #1 thing that leads to kidnapping”

pizzatarians unite!

LIES. MAYO IS PROOF GOD LOVES US.

When I worked retail, I used to have recurring nightmares about the zombie apocalypse. Through these nightmares, I have developed two survival strategies.

My strategy remains the same.
1. Eat all of the chocolate remaining in my apartment.
2. Kill self.

hypotenuse allergy

So that means if the red is ground up, then I'm not allergic?