Prepping discussions are pointless. All you need is a sharp knife so you can “open your veins” in the bath like a freaking Roman. Who the heck wants to survive the apocalypse???

Tomato, for all the various piles of shit you’ve excreted into the ether around here, this has to be one of the dumbest.

It’s not badly-written, to be fair—but god damn, man, the guy struck protesters with a truck. The thing about being in law enforcement (or the military, for that matter) is that members are held to a…

Or it could be that society just likes to make fun of literally anything that is enjoyed primarily by women. If it was mostly men drinking PSLs we would not have this seasonal mocking. I'll be enjoying one the day it comes out because I live in the south and PSL day is a nice reminder that this horrible summer weather…

Sorry, there wasn’t enough space in the article for that info, after making sure to mention AirPods the requisite number of times.

*Gourd your loins

The only thing more tiresome than Pumpkin Spice season is Pumpkin Spice take season, be it apologia or polemic.

(everything is branded now; fall is PSL season, and before we know it summer will be Miller Lite Inner Tubing Bikini Instagram Time)

I do because my sister got me this really awesome apron with owls on it plus I use lots of tomato sauce and am clumsy, but I really don’t feel GENDER OPPRESSION during operations.

I’m feminist as fuck and am an amazing cook and have a plethora of aprons. I also scrub a mean toilet. That doesn’t make me a sad little regressive wifey, it makes grownup who knows how to do basic tasks required for human survival. I also can do basic plumbing, I took my oven clear apart the fix the damn thing, and I…

Especially when you consider the sheer volume of Wishbone’s work and the range of roles, no other dog can touch that.

We had the video of HB and my daughter always knew when the harrowing mountain lion scene was coming and would run out of the room and yell “is it over yet?”. It wasn’t the big cat on little domestic cat/dog violence that bothered her, it was “that mountain lion looked at them so MEAN!”

My heart is almost full-on black at this point, but holy shit do I turn into a little kid every 4 years when the summer games comes on.

I can’t get past the fact that ALSOK stands for Always Security OK! I mean, it’s a little on the nose. Also, is just “ok” the standard we should be aiming for?

YOU GOT A LOT TO LEARN, PUP

Half the world couldn’t name the Pope. The top 3 (in any order) would be Pele, Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo. Football / soccer is light years more meaningful to most everyone on the planet than religion. Muhammad Ali and Ghandi to round it out your top 5.

For the love of God, do not willingly pass Detroit Lions fandom onto your child.

“Why not use a paper towel?” Jesus, why not a cheese grater?

I would put Michael Jordan in above pretty much any celebrity/musician/athlete living or dead, including not so great flying lady Earhart, couldn’t even land the plane, and Einstein; whose name is uttered more in sarcasm at dumb people than true recognition of his contribution to humanity.

You should be using boxers instead of socks cause socks have been on your feet and have gross feet germs embedded deep in them but underwear never leave the general vicinity of the crotch so you don’t have to worry about that. 

Top famous people has to include a soccer star if we’re not being American centric, no? I feel like Messi or Ronaldo is currently more famous than either Albert Einstein or Amelia Earhart.