Are people still buying fur coats in 2019?

Human rights shouldn’t be for sale, huh Ted?

The Weeknd is the dumbest name in music but i GUESS you’re right that it’s easier to search than The Weekend. 

Real Sex >> Real Sports. 

My mom tried to argue with me that I simply just “Dont understand Trump’s nuance” when he says things like this. “Oh honey you don’t understand, he’s just joking around he’s not ACTUALLY doing anything wrong. It was just locker room talk between friends.”

oh you met my stepdad!

My mom kept trying to use this argument this weekend when I was yelling and screaming in her face about nazis. “He’s just joking, it’s called nuance.”

I still like looking at cool outfits? 

I know we’ve complained about this before but it’s very difficult to read these articles when you don’t describe the people left to right. ESPECIALLY because we’re all old as shit and don’t know who any of these people are. 

But it is?

this is the information we need, not “My. Feeney, an old man 20 years ago, is still an old man.”

Honestly, it’s bad enough we’re procreating during 45 years. You’re gonna make him a Lions fan too?

i dont know why i’m laughing so hard at “mom” but i love it. i love a well placed mom. 

Same. While I’d have them tied for first, I’m okay with Wishbone being at the top. 

My mom took me out of the movie theater during the porcupine scene because I was crying so hard. Like heaving dark heavy sobs.

I loveeee the name December but my kid was born in November.

^^ MY DREAM RETIREMENT

My childhood friend used to make fun of me when I ordered those strawberry shortcake things cuz she “didn’t like coconut.” 

She’s holding it as if it’s a big game trophy that she just shot that she wants to show off. 

ALSO FUCK YOU TITO stop apologizing and making excuses for this piece of shit shit fuck. HE HATES YOU