The average elementary school teacher gets paid $48,950 in Iowa.

That seems like a lot, but you have to factor in the cost of living in Iowa.

Can’t wait until Oct 9, when the Buffalo fans come to town, that has royal rumble written all over it!

Who would have thought Los Angeles would be a place of such senseless violence?

Also, you don’t get to claim immaturity as a legitimate excuse when you’re 32 fucking years old, Ryan.

Check your facts. Trump Airlines has been out of business for almost 25 years.

I feel bad for his teammates, Bryson, Dillon, and Brody. I mean, they seem so insignificant in these stories. So much so that I just made up all three of those names and you didn’t even notice.

Meanwhile, the USOC said they hit him with a rolled-up newspaper and told him he was a bad Labradoodle, but Rio is to far to drag him and rub his nose in it…

Lochte: My actions were inexcusable, and un-Belize-able. Get it!
Agent: Ryan the games were in Rio De Janeiro.
Locthe: Eh, same state, whatever.

So this guy is going to get another shitty reality tv show now, isn't he?

White males who commit crimes are just “kids finding their way” until about age 55. Black kids on the other hand become men around age 10 or 11.

Seriously. “These kids.” Lochte is 32 fucking years old. Yes, he’s an idiot, but he’s a grown-ass idiot.

Holy shit. IOC spokesman is really angling for a new job as Sports Information Director for an SEC school.

I know. It’s like the Coyote running into boulder freshly painted to look like a cave.

I’ve never been more excited to be wrong.

The chalk cloud really sells it.

Pumps? You're making some real assumptions here.

It’s almost as though Brazil was entirely unfit to host an event of this magnitude and somehow, for lack of a better term, bribed the IOC or something.