Oh look, we’ve finally found the proper time for people to kneel before the flag.

Not a TV person. A very special and important radio news person with “news” in their username so everyone will know they are important.

Would love to know which 20 clubs are participating. (And whether the Cardinals are one of them, let’s be honest.)

The Cubs have been doing this for a few months, but with better props.

What is an “FAA-compliant canopy”?

Hey remember when Gaby Dunn said Stoya was lying because she was buds with James Deen? Good times, good times.

False. @darth is the only good account.

Hurricane Chicago’s Failed Olympics Bid

Only a matter of time until corporate sponsorship comes to hurricanes. No such thing as bad press, baby! HURRICANE BUD LIGHT LIME IS JUST HERE FOR A GOOD TIME, PEOPLE!

Kelby Tomlinson is younger than Pablo Sandoval, but at 27, I don’t think I’d call him a “youngster.”

“Lying is as old as Adam and Eve, and apparently not in and of itself against the rules. The use of lying while ‘under oath’ seems to be where the actual violation is.” — The Jerrys discussing perjury

Shep, have you seen any good PS Vita deals recently?

Shep, have you seen any good PS Vita deals recently?

Fiskers don’t make noise when they start up. Just so you know.

I’m a Cubs fan, but this is more than a little silly. Making sure the Cardinals have every edge they can get within the framework of the rules (cough Houston hacking cough) is John Mozeliak’s job. It’s not like they’re already eliminated or have no chance of making the playoffs. I don’t see anything wrong,…

“My God, not even an Eagle Scout could tie a better knot in that noose!”

This is a bad take.

Seriously, fuck the Cardinals for this. They realized they fucked up a perfect chance at some easy PR when they lost the cat, so now they’re trying to get it back by strong-arming an animal charity. And, just in case there was any doubt as to their true intentions here, now they’re prematurely trying to sell, sell,…

“second baseman Tim Anderson”

“Stay in your lane” is exactly what he told Kristine Leahy (Colin Cowherd’s cohost). Add “misogynist” to the Big Baller Brand brand’s brand guidelines.

The fans went home happy: two Gerry Davis ejections for the price of one. You just never know what you’re gonna see when you go to a ballgame.