He’d kill all the animals, then pause to reflect.

Something to know about lawyers: I think most filings, for almost anything, are done at the last minute right before the deadline. I wouldn’t read anything at all into the fact that MLB hasn’t filed something yet.

Where’s Statcast when we actually need it?

My God what is the deal with that screaming play-by-play call of the grand slam. Calm down, bro.

I freaking love Shade Court and am still very mad online that my application to join the Shade Bar Association was so ruthlessly denied. These columns were always packed with brilliance. And this one is an instant classic: “Kardashian-adjacents.” The entire Taylor Swift bit. Not wanting to give Cosmo a win due to its…

KKK for strikeouts is bad, but dressing up your avatar with a “Thug Life” shirt to complain about it is ok? Girl, bye.

With that said, it’s not unheard of for the government to bring simultaneous civil and criminal proceedings arising from the same conduct (but usually the civil proceedings are stayed pending resolution of the criminal proceedings).

“Joe Torre, currently MLS’s Chief Baseball Officer”

Personally I’m looking forward to “Skip Bayless Visits Your House to Yell At Your Architecture.”

That’s actually a pretty good apology, all things considered.

You have to plead that your damages *exceed* the sum or value of $75,000 (so $75,000 would be a no while $75,001 would be a yes), but this is exactly it. (28 U.S.C. section 1332(a).)

Dude, this was awesome of you. Faith in humanity: restored.

At least they’ve got a mastermind like Dusty Baker to get the most out of ... you know what, never mind.

Two spaces are not antiquated in law, which is Comey’s domain.

He was great in Firewatch.

Kamala is definitely gunning for it, as anyone who follows any of her social media accounts can tell you. Hopefully she’ll be ready with some killer campaign ideas.

Absolutely perfect headline, Emma.

I don’t think Bruce will ever read this. You should try calling.

TL;DR

Hunter Strickland is not a starting pitcher. Do you watch baseball?