Okay, pal. I was born and raised in the Midwest. You’re allowed to not find a joke funny, that’s fine, but you’re not allowed to be this stupid. Gonna go out on a limb here and say wherever you live probably sucks, too.

Peter King might disagree with you there; haven’t you heard of Wichita’s famed neutrality? Name a better equalizer in sports. You can't.

But you’re still in Kansas City, so you've already lost.

Come on guys, you don’t have to settle for a spring training photo where he’s wearing #74 against the Reds. Spend a little more, and at least get one from mid-June.

This article would’ve benefited greatly if you’d first familiarized yourself with existing Cirrus aircraft and GA aircraft in general, instead of apparently rewriting a press release and inserting pointless parenthetical commentary on weather and crashing.

Good thing legal research on Westlaw or Lexis for all jurisdictions is completely free, so no problems there!

Here you go, Mike! You should’ve asked your nearest lawyer — this took like 5 seconds.

Lazy and stupid could also describe crowdsourcing one’s entire content output with the same damn thing week after week after week, so now I'm confused.

Thank you for condescending to me about where I’m from. That still doesn’t make it “the plains.”

Can you imagine the Hot Takes Shitstorm if Guthrie had gotten hurt during this? “What’s that idiot ballboy thinking, shoving around a multi-million dollar pitcher like that? Who does he think he is?” Or, if your favorite takes artist happens to be anti-player, “Me-first Jeremy Guthrie just put winning a silly side…

That’s good, because in all the time I spent in Champaign I’d never once heard it lumped in with “the plains” 500 miles west.

What do you call it when a story calling out bad writing is itself. Not. Very. Well. Writ. Ten? And has typos and errors that. No. One. Both. Ered. To. Fix? Because: #Petty.

“They bunted the entire game? You can do that?!” — Ned Yost

Really, Caitlyn Jenner? Again?

Everyone knows it’s Ron Coomer who’s keeping Kerry’s seat warm. Idiot.

“Please take Donald Trump seriously so you’ll have to take me seriously, too.” - Clay Aiken

Well yeah, obviously it's that.

Quite a contrast between the Cowboys using their Twitter to promote a workplace fight for precious hits and the Bears, whose brand-new media rules under John Fox say that any reporter who saw such a fight is not allowed to report it or he loses his credential. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but the Bears might…

Hawk, is that you?

My favorite (not my favorite) is an extremely low-budget “insurance” “company” named Freeway that airs radio ads here in California. It’s one of those companies you pay a little money to for a piece of paper to keep in your glovebox.