Did you just... compare medium level comedians of 2018 to some of comedians defining voices while also telling a woman to check herself and know her role? The actual fuck.

Marieke Nijkamp is the 100% most perfect human alive to write Oracle. I am so excited for this. 

As a season ticket holder for the indians who routinely sits in 36 degree weather to watch very mediocre april baseball i sure do hope that portland idea features a dome b/c man... there’s only so many tall boys one can afford to try to stay warm. 

“it’s going to be a wild year”

having a 19 dropped on you has something to do with not wanting to waste actual arms bud. 

Fun Fact - the app Libby actually does “stream” ebooks and audiobooks from the library. and it’s free. and used by 95% of US public libraries. Also fun fact- it’s exponentially growing. last year there were 1/4 of a billion checkouts using it in 2017 alone. Maybe stop quoting a 2 year old story about libraries not…

Important featured product review from their website:

Megan, you rock but to hell with your flip flip shaming.

turn off the heat but leave the skillet ON the (now) hot burner? or take it off said burner and on a cool one entirely?

It was goaltending, yes but every person who (for reasons?) hates LeBron ignored the fact that the previous possession when the ball was knocked away from him it landed out of bounds and should’ve been the Cavs ball still. The refs missed back to back calls and each on benefited the other team.

Can all but guarantee they’re just letting Rob Delaney manage this since its a spitting image of his actual ridiculous account

That’s Rob damn Delaney. I love Nick Offerman as much as anyone on earth but they didn’t miss an opportunity. Rob is one of the funniest humans alive

The highly popular, hugely profitable Friday the 13th series has rightfully earned its place in horror history.

listen to the audiobook of “As you wish” by Cary Elwes. Most of them are interviewed for it and there are a number of incredible Andre stories.

I will happily admit that was indeed awesome.

Want to talk about nightmare starts? the Indians BEST batting average right now is .194

We can all joke about this, guys! It’s snowing here in dumb Cleveland too! We ALSO the North!

go during the week and splurge on the fast passes. absolutely worth it.

“FWIW my fav Yankee fan insta page”

we are all cloverfields now.