I don't want to choose what you say, that would defeat the purpose of having you around for commentary.

Why don't they just put women in the cargohold with the rest of the property and be done with it?

When I was in high school I had knee surgery on December 26 and the combination of immobility and hydrocodone made me super constipated and my mom had to give me an enema. At age 18. Worst NYE of my life.

These people. These fucking people.

Actually, it's extremely cool. If I were this bloke's neighbor I'd give him a big xmas hug just for doing something so awesome.

I just threw up a little bit thinking about ranch dressing on shrimp.

No. "Borderline."

We were just discussing what the name of that sexy chase Benny Hill music was...thank you!

Why the crap didn't you go with them, Ross?

I was in 5th grade and I was reading Stephen King and Clive Barker but I was also reading RL Stine and Bruce Colville. As I grew up I still read a mixture of young adult and adult novels. I think that books for children can be just as complex and thoughtful as books for adults. The best books for children don't talk…

Wow. No offense, but you come off like a pretentious git. Maybe it's because you're trying express yourself in your 3rd language but fucking chill, pal. Don't like Rowling? Okay. Who the fuck cares? I don't like Hemingway but you don't see me posting about why I think he's shit.

She was a narcissistic psychopath who justified her shitty existence with psuedo-intellectual nonsense.

"The color of the caulk around my shower drain after all my high school dye jobs"

A grown woman picking on children is about as classy as going to Buckingham Palace and asking Queen Elizabeth to pull your finger.

I feel kinda bad for Jesus for having to hear her go on about it for hours.

1. They have a right to look apathetic because the turkey pardon is the dumbest thing ever.

After many hours of prayer I realize I was wasting too much time praying and went back to staring out the window.

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