I don't want to choose what you say, that would defeat the purpose of having you around for commentary.

Why don't they just put women in the cargohold with the rest of the property and be done with it?

When I was in high school I had knee surgery on December 26 and the combination of immobility and hydrocodone made me super constipated and my mom had to give me an enema. At age 18. Worst NYE of my life.

These people. These fucking people.

Actually, it's extremely cool. If I were this bloke's neighbor I'd give him a big xmas hug just for doing something so awesome.

I just threw up a little bit thinking about ranch dressing on shrimp.

No. "Borderline."

We were just discussing what the name of that sexy chase Benny Hill music was...thank you!

Why the crap didn't you go with them, Ross?

I was in 5th grade and I was reading Stephen King and Clive Barker but I was also reading RL Stine and Bruce Colville. As I grew up I still read a mixture of young adult and adult novels. I think that books for children can be just as complex and thoughtful as books for adults. The best books for children don't talk…

Wow. No offense, but you come off like a pretentious git. Maybe it's because you're trying express yourself in your 3rd language but fucking chill, pal. Don't like Rowling? Okay. Who the fuck cares? I don't like Hemingway but you don't see me posting about why I think he's shit.

"The color of the caulk around my shower drain after all my high school dye jobs"

A grown woman picking on children is about as classy as going to Buckingham Palace and asking Queen Elizabeth to pull your finger.

I feel kinda bad for Jesus for having to hear her go on about it for hours.

1. They have a right to look apathetic because the turkey pardon is the dumbest thing ever.

After many hours of prayer I realize I was wasting too much time praying and went back to staring out the window.

andYou may enjoy this:

Hey, you make strange friends when you're inside.

Although I was creeped out by all of the top less photos [definitely not modeling children's clothing there] and the ones where she had on a ton of makeup/was airbrushed out the wazoo (despite her mother's claims) and posed to look much older, what was most disturbing to me about all of this was the "most beautiful…