They’d finished with the spankings.

I had a roommate who accused me of “having sex in front of her” after I sat quietly in my bed (shoulders touching) with my boyfriend while we read from the same computer science book. She was on the swim team and got up at 5am every day, which I never complained about. After that, when she asked me to go to her…

It’s not creepy at all. The “gift” he refers to is honoring your instincts and making rational decisions about safety that are not centered on being pleasing to strangers.

Did you actually check the trend? Becaus I did and Lauren has a greater volume of searches compared to her husband and a larger Web presence. In fact, it appears she’s given her husband a bump in his own web traffic.

Except his name DOESN’T drive more traffic. “Lauren Holiday” is trending at a far greater volume in Google searches than “Jrue Holiday”. Which, given the larger share of interest using such definitive metrics as twitter followers, it makes sense.

Nobody who you date owes you anything. Full stop. You’re not owed sex after buying someone dinner. You’re not owed a tidy final explanation after a cancelled fourth date.

It’s possible that any number of things have happened in this person’s life that were he to tell you, you would be completely sympathetic to and understand. Assume he’s done so and let it go.

GO YOU! If I may offer unsolicited advice, give yourself time to grieve. Schedule a time to sit and just feel sad... otherwise the sadz pop up randomly at the worst time. And never look back. It never gets better it just gets worse and you feel smaller and smaller the longer you shoulder it.

This is fucking great. Devastatingly excellent satire.

DNA extraction techniques have advanced rapidly. Over the past few decades evidence that was too trace to be testable has now been made testable thanks to newer techniques. It’s quite possible that whoever initially took the evidence knew that the DNA probably wasn’t testable but hoped it might one day be so.

She’s been a trucker for 20 years, so presumably her strength and advanced age are not an issue. Her son (is he a trucker? Or just his mom who he somehow has managed to believe cannot perform the job she’s done for two decades) is ageist and sexist.

What’s fascinating to me is that, despite the fact your mother has spent 20 years employed as a truck driver... your sexism is so deeply rooted that you refuse to accept that. Is your mother not a woman to you?

My mom switched from driving city busses to driving commercial rigs last year. She is extremely antisocial so it’s perfect for her. Plus she has zero job or people skills and no retirement savings, so she’ll probably do it until she physically can’t.

I visited Yellowstone as a kid and no less than the times saw an utterly horrific video of a man mauled by a bear. Like he unwrapped his bandages and you could see his brain. Between that and having a not entirely irrational fear that my sociopath older brother would push me into a geyser pool, Yellowstone really…

Have you ever read Amy Poehler’s biography? At a certain point she admits she digs around and snoops in people’s stuff whenever she’s left alone in friend’s houses. I literally gasped out loud and have liked her as a person a teensy smidgen less than before I knew she was a snoop.

I think she chose to marry him because he was such a rug and he probably was genuinely afraid of her, which led to a vicious cycle. She wanted total control, he gave in but passively aggressively refused to help since she was so exacting and he was used to just deferring. She’s sort of Cersei; her machinations never…

My favorite was watching the Soup do recaps of moments like this and how Joel McHale 100% called out her shit. She is insanely mean.

Probably because they interview so frequently, right?

Right? There’s a Young Republicans group in basically every college. There’s likely dozens of young white men who could stand in as Trump.

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