My mother told me that women only use tampons after they’re married. It wasn’t meant to be amusing. She wanted to dispel any idea of anything going into my vagina. This was 1980.

Is your uncle my older brother?

SPOOKY STORIES IN JULY!!!!

*Maryanne* Porter

The full story on that family is in the book: “Haunted S—— C—-” by Mayanne Porter.

Miss Bowie, we live in the same town!

I bumped into my high school crush at the beach when I was 32... we’ve been happily married for 17 years. You just never can tell.

But have you tried Surreal’s Porter? It’s so damn close to a real beer it’s astounding.

P.S.

Hello :) I’m a NorCal native and live close to one of the places you’ll be visiting.

Editorial Note:

Wow. That text really pissed me off. He was intentionally baiting you. He wants you to feel small. That’s a f’ed up power move. Personally? I would have Zero’ed him then and there... but, I’m also pushing 50 and have had plenty of years to develop my Bye Felicia ‘Tude.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (I’m pushin’ 50 this December...)

I once held an Indoor Yard Sale (for pocket cash toward upcoming vacation) and let me tell you, it rained money.

Yard/Stoop Sale!

Hello, again.

I’m happy my journey so far helped a little.

Ok, Origami... let me take you for a little walk. I am just over two months sober (March 18), so I just went through this. I’m doing far better than I thought I would be - so here’s my whole rundown.