Yeah, but those two had something in common, not to mention Hephaestus had a craft he was good at.

Wouldn’t dino-sized balls make their dicks look smaller, though?

These guys worship their bizarro vision of toxic masculinity, so this makes perfect sense in their universe. Hilarious as shit in ours, though.

I guess it’s easier than becoming less-awful people.

No.

If someone is judging you for how you eat pasta and you have zero chance of having sex with them, tell them to go to Hell.

Meh. I’ve got two messy kids and snap most of my spaghetti in half before I drop it in the pot. Italian grandmothers who somehow break into my home may object, but I don’t need spaghetti sauce all over the house because I insisted on doing it the “right” way.

You don’t owe anyone anything and kitchen shears are less…

Jesus, that’s some JK Rowling level nonsense.

Wait, do we know where the Engineers poop?

The Engineers didn’t create the xenomorphs to kill humans. They Engineers created the xenomorphs, among other weapons, to kill each other. Humans were something they apparently thought had been wiped out somewhere along the line and, when confronted with surviving vermin, tried to kill it. As one does.

I think they’re definitely going to give us a steady stream of Alien movies forever. I think splitting them into horror and bug hunts is a good way to do it, but I don’t think Ridley was wrong to add the Engineers and the black goo.

I just didn’t need to see the circle explicitly closed and “our” aliens being created…

There’s an edit of Prometheus — OK, maybe with an additional new scene or two — where we get this.

Covenant is where shit really goes off the rails.

I have peers bemoaning their inability to find qualified employees while at the same time unwilling to hire anyone their own age or older. It’s galling.

It’s a tale as old as time.

The recruiter’s contract says they will find the company at least X number of candidates.

Lots of screening in the job application process is handled by software, though. Humans don’t intervene to make the job requirements not essential until they discover the ad’s been up for weeks and they’ve gotten one “qualified” candidate.

In the meantime, everyone else gets bounce-backs saying “you did not meet the…

I don’t know that Food Network pays everyone “my serfs will wash my car” money. There’s probably only a handful of folks there who’ve made out that well.

A lot of these folks end up upper middle class, with publishing deals that may or may not generate a lot of revenue in any given year, and a few sponsorships that are…

Ha, I did this exact same strategy. The kid announced that the movie sucked, though (he’s not wrong) and just wants to stick with the gorgeous illustrated Harry Potter editions from here on out.

I was really hoping it was going to be everyone’s favorite zombie, Liv Moore.

You’re No Longer The Man Now, Dog

Can we talk about the fact that Thrall’s wife and kids are clearly dead in this cinematic? After the assassins attack, he doesn’t go and check on them, and only told Saurfang — a friend — that they’re “near.” When it’s time to leave, he doesn’t go and find them to tell him about his decision. Not to mention his house…