Reader, it me.

Someday
I’ll be half the man I used to be
With a tux jacket hanging off of me
List-ening to Fu-ga-ziiiii

Then you would have had a debilitating cocaine addiction, allegedly.

This can’t be right. According to all the geniuses on Gawker and Jezebel, the number one threat to Americans’ lives is gun violence.

It’s not never ending, just saying

Sorrynotsorry to be that asshole, but the “Lauren” is the modal name, not the median name. Median is middle, so on that list, it would be the average of “Jubilee” and “Lace”, so “Juce”? I wouldn’t put it past them to bring on a 29th cast member named “Juice” so we can reassess Bachelorette statistics then.

Its a myth that ISIS cares one iota over whether people choose to refer to them with the Arabic acronym for Islamic State of Iraq and Syria or the English acronym for Islamic State of Iraq and Syria.

This.

I seriously think some people just aren’t willing to believe that Michael Jordan was as good as older people think he was. To be honest, I think some of that is because *ahem* some writers focus on things like what a hyper-competitive dick he was (is), how mean he was to his teammates, his gambling, his comeback…

Haha, I am not talking about games. I’m talking about an entire season. Michael averaged 32-8-8 on 54-percent shooting his entire age-25 season. Kobe has never come close to doing that. Kobe has never crested 47-percent shooting for a single season, and has never averaged either of those 8s. That age-25 season was one…

If you’re old enough to have watched young Michael put up 32-8-8 on 54-percent shooting as a 25-year-old and you still think this, you’re an insane person.

I don’t ‘hate’ Kobe, nor do I ‘love’ Mike, but in pure basketballing terms, prime Michael Jordan would wipe the goddamn floor with Kobe Bryant. There is no debate to be had.

“Me and the AP Stylebook.”

Michigan and Mass are doing this same thing, so...IDK, get off your high horse.

You’re saying “America’s Shittiest States” like every single state isn’t about to do this. How soon before “liberal” California does the same thing?

I’ve seen the skinny tie go in and out several times in my life. I love the look, but it comes with two warnings. 1) It’s a look best worn when young and 2) a look that suits thinner people because on a heavy person it looks a string attached to your head which is now a balloon.

“Beyond the garden variety garbage men bombard every woman on the internet with, Koul’s occupation and beat means she is subject to especially vile tweets, emails, and Facebook messages.”

This is as important a story as Deadspin has ever done. My contempt for Hardy, Jones and Goodell is matched only by my admiration for Diana’s epic reporting.

That kind of attitude will get you guillotined.

The pro sandwich group has better logic. The meatball sub is a good argument and so is the bread is similar to a sub argument. The “I eat hot dogs straight” is a bad argument. You can eat ham without it being in a ham sandwich.