For those who can’t view the video at work (or wherever)...

So you use your toothbrushes for cutting things instead of cleaning your teeth. Well, I reckon that explains it.

This being the UK, where guns are harder to come by, we actually hacked our dick off with a sharpened toothbrush.

Budget a clutch job 2 weeks after the warranty fails. and random broken parts like wiper motors.

At some point, you have to [air horn] distractions to [booming PA announcer hype man voice] and [Jock Jams cut] and [instructions to make some noise] kick in the nuts.

Soon to appear in memes calling LeBron soft for sitting out regular season games

I don’t know you at all and I’ll give a Jalopniker the benefit of the doubt, but using the word “cuckold” immediately makes me think of basement dwellers with poor social skills and patchy beards. It’s like a compositional fedora.

I miss the old days when reporters were paid off up front.

Can someone help this young man? He seems to be suffering from amnesia.

If it is fight or flight the penguins have only one option...

And he would have pitched more if it weren’t for that corny uniform.

As a rabid C&H fan, this just made my day.

“Dammit”

There go all the Sale Price puns headlines that the Boston Sports Media were going to use this season.

According to that scale on your map, planes are also much bigger today than they used to be.

  Cue sad trombone.

[David Price meets with Dr. Andrews at the combine]

There are a lot more planes in the sky today than 50 years ago. The planes go slower so they won’t bump into each other.

Belichick returned the compliment with three grunts, a snort, and a sort of low guttural hum

$10 that tomorrow’s NYP back cover is “CAST AWAY!!!”