I always thought the same, because, like, teeth.

Late Night sex jokes are usually a lot more understated and implied.

the walk-back post, sure to be titled “Look, I’m Not Smart,”

I haven’t had a handheld since the original Game Boy and thought I had no use for one but now that I have it I find myself playing handheld quite a bit.

It’s 3.8% the size of my country: any country that you can get from one end to the other in a single day is tiny.

(Insert fat Americans joke here)

Take an Amtrak across country and it will be empty. Why would you burn 5 days to cross the US when you could burn 5 hours?

Oddly enough, I’d put it in there in case I got stuck in my seatbelt, in a crash or somesuch

Matsuya indeed...

How about ‘Xenu’...?

Yeah, certainly it’s possible this thing tasted good, but man it looks amazingly repulsive in those photos...

Roasting on a slowly turning spit over a roaring fire within minutes.

I think just the photo here is hilarious, he may as well have “BRO” tatooed on his forehead...

Shooting people is wrong. Shooting people is substantially worse than any of those things you mention

This applies equally to every relationship, even familial. Hell, my mother must have been the originator of passive-agressiveness, seeing as how she uses every single tactic and more against me, particularly the backhanded compliment and cold shoulder.

May I please use that last name? I’ve been looking for an alias, and throbwhistler is just excellent.

How do you know she’s an illegal immigrant? Are you assuming that because she’s Hispanic? My last name is Hernandez... That means i must be an illegal immigrant too even though I was born and raised in California!

Also, I like 3D on the 3DS alot. Everyone else just has bad eyes.

One thing I’ve always wondered is: What’s the best thing to do as an outsider...?

I guess the question that comes to mind is: are the kids still young enough that they stand a chance of recovery?