My friend had that problem at 26. She’d walk around the house barefoot on her tiptoes. I told her to get some practice flats before her feet curled up into little spiral doughballs like the Wicked Witch of the West.

I meant the contract she signed to become his mail order bride and to live in the lifestyle “to which she is accustomed.” And now his publicity-stunt-gone-awry is interfering in that life. I’m just here for the immediate divorce after he leaves office.

This shouldn’t be difficult unless you are half of the most vain and tone-deaf “couple” in the universe. Who can’t differentiate from a scenario where people are desperate and dying, and a 2,000 dollar a plate fundraiser where they show up to Be Seen in NYC.

Yup. She wore sneakers when visiting Haiti. Scroll down the link below to see. Also, Laura Bush wore flats and a subdued outfit while visiting after Katrina hit.

It’s like the worlds worst porn version of Game of Thrones.

You don’t want to think about Donald’s pasty naked body glistening with sweat making sweet, sweet love to his frozen wife?

Melanie’s motto: Always Be Posing.

To be fair, Michelle also would have been there to HELP. Melania isn’t going to help out, she’s going so she can smile vapidly in front of cameras. Different ideas, different wardrobes.

Michelle would have rolled up in wellies and sturdy pants and rolled up her sleeves and got to work. This chicklet? Ew, no way she’s touching anyone down there. She might accidentally brush the arm of A Poor!!!

I’m guessing that if Melania had to put on duck boots, her head would explode, like that guy in Scanners.

I seriously doubt they still have sex. And contemplating that makes we want to go take a shower.... with bleach.

Yeah, I agree. I actually think this is one of his better looks of late and it’s perfectly fine for the occasion. If he wore more rugged clothing he’d be accused of “dressing up like a big boy construction worker.”

MICHELLE WOULD HAVE WORN SNEAKERS. Or a flat or duck boots or anything else a normal person would wear. GOD I hope 45 has a heart attack on top of her in bed and she’s trapped for several hours.

I’d like to go to a top gun themed party.

Now now let’s be fair, she’s contractually obligated to wear those heels. You know he’s pointed out how huge the ratings would be if he divorced her on live TV and cut her out of the will. She’s a hostage at this point. She is utterly complicit and deserves zero fucks given but I’d bet money she doesn’t have a choice…

I am still laughing my fool head off at that Top Gun cosplay. Gurrrrl, Kelly McGillis you ain’t.

Dressed for tragedy! Fuck-me pumps and Chinese gimme caps.

Trump’s outfit is fine. Melania’s choice in footwear is the opposite of fine. For reference, here’s Obama in his disaster surveying gear. Of all the things he’s done related to Harvey, his choice of clothes is far and away the least offensive.

She looks like she was about to go to a Top Gun themed party before Cheeto dragged her on this stupid vanity trip.