I work out plenty you pauper

Sorry but I only work out on floors made of diamond you fucking plebes.

This is why you never trust anyone you went to high school with.

Thanks! I suspected this when I overheard a 10-year-old using it in response to his friend mixing two flavours in his Slurpee at 7-Eleven.

This reminds me of how I smile at my boss when we make eye contact and then after she turns aways I crinkle my nose in distaste.

Those frozen lemonade cups == best zoo treat. <—inarguable FACT

I mean, I hate the taste of brussels sprouts, but I don’t go on a tweet crusade about them. I just let other people eat them.

He’d have a rage stroke.

Dallas Stars

To be fair, I also think Dippin’ Dots are inedible, and I was somewhat enraged the first time I tried them (at a mall in Florida), too.

“I want to unite everybody because as a team we’re stronger together.”

The box was just recycled, there is a Kohls scarf inside from a boxing day sale.

I was JUST on the Tiffany’s site trying to figure out what would go in a box that size.

I assume this is a total disaster for her. She is unprepared to be in the spotlight this much, her husband is a rotting pile of tangerines, and he likes her stepdaughter better than her. I only feel a little sorry for her, since she chose to marry him in the first place, but I suspect she wanted a standard trophy wife…

Inauguration Day is always cold & rainy there! It’s winter in DC! But that didn’t stop the zillions for turning out for Obama. The message of this emptiness is pret-ty clear.

So proud of D.C. Right now. I’ve seen some pics and there is nooooooobody out. The only people around are bumbfucks with racists t-shirts. (Shocker, I know).

I’m sure he’ll say, “we had the biggest crowds ever!!” But deep down it kills him that the crowds are small, just like it kills him that he is perceived as an illegitimate president.

She looks like a fucking nutcracker.

I totally understand the Freudian slip, but I think you mean vial.