Maya, read my favorite piece on David Letterman, and it’ll explain why he was a dick to you.

If he’d said Kevin Sorbo or Frankie Muniz or himself, I suspect the remark would have landed a lot differently.

Hey, Matthew, when you’re as successful and kind as Keanu is, then you can wish him dead. How bout that?!

To quote Earl Butts...

What are “boys sports” and what are “girls sports?”

He was horrible to Rachel, especially about her job.

Or change "Keanu" to "me." At least you're keeping it real there. 

Or he'd say, "You mean Chandler? From Friends? Yeah I catch the reruns. What was the question?"

And having and making a fuck ton of money. If he’d been anyone else, the chances of him ODing would be greater.

This was my comment on Jezebel.

Did you ever see the interview with Julia Roberts from 10-15 years ago where she explained why she wasn’t on Twitter? In her answer, she demonstrated that she not only didn’t know what Twitter was but also social media in general and how it pertained to the entertainment industry.

I might be misreading here but...

Thank you. If you’re going to apologize for something, how about playing a transphobic, homophobic, intensely heteronormative, insecure, jealous, controlling turd with serious anger management issues who never redeemed himself but ended up with the hot woman who did redeem herself?

The weird boob window cancelled out the gorgeous wide pant legs.

Keanu’s accent tried *so* hard in that movie.

It’s Amy Klobuchar: the Sequel!

Hot take: all jumpsuits are ugly.

One of the ways Satanic Panic got kicked off was because an untreated, unmedicated bipolar alcoholic started making bizarre accusations.

When I lived in Europe for a short time, all the skinhead, white supremacists, Nazis, whatever never, ever travelled anywhere alone. Ever.

Do you think Ted knows no one likes him, but he's acting otherwise in the hopes we don't notice, or does he really think he has friends?