Tiffany Trump’s anecdote about her dad was even worse. A friend of hers died, and her dad called her to comfort her.

Ted’s own daughter literally wanted nothing to do with him. She ran off when he tried to hug her. His wife had a mental breakdown by the side of the road.

Right? Did he see how #MeToo unfolded? It’s like a drop of vomit. There’s no such thing as JUST a drop of vomit. There's always a puddle somewhere that you need to find first before you step in it. 

Steve Jobs didn’t produce anything. He did, however, take away handicap parking spaces from people who legitimately needed them.

Like Facebook. Zuck and the Winklevii twins didn’t invent it.

Elon, put down your phone and get a real job. Stop eating out so much and start sensible financial planning.

He needs to stop buying avocado toast and learn to eat at home. 

Ugh. He didn’t do anything anymore than Steve Jobs or Elizabeth Holmes did.

And he has zero impulse control. Dude cannot keep his mouth shut when it counts. 

I was just thinking about this.

She still didn't fit into it though. That's why she has a wrap over her butt. 

And Dr. Phil!

You know what him to do?

My cousin married an Indian guy named Chaitanya. I’m literally the only person who has ever said his name correctly. My redneck relatives call him by his initials.

OMG my parents never ever picked me up on time. I was always the kid at the sleepover who needed to be brought home on the rare occasions I was allowed to go to one.

There are over 45k pages of federal laws on the books. I have no idea how many state laws exist in each state.

This right here. That’s why they do so well despite being in the minority.

Travis Barker has to be related to Jared Kushner.

And it's not like anything is going to happen to her anyway. There are no consequences anymore. 

If they're grifting on behalf of kids, isn't that a good thing? Like Robinhood for babies or something?