Which is treated as some sort of accomplishment instead of a kick in the pants moment that it was.

I guess if you can’t be genuinely interesting and engaging you can at least try your best to be shocking.

Kate Middleton is the least relatable person in the world.

Does he work as hard as the single mom who works three minimum wage jobs?

$44 billion?

Remember when Rex Tillerson was Secretary of State for ten minutes and he was already struggling with fatigue, travel, and the workload?

A friend of mine in college owned her wedding dress (2.5 years) longer than she was married (about two years). I think they were engaged for at least three years because she took a long time to find that dress. 

Reminds me of when GWB said he had “youthful indiscretions” when he was 40.

This is the only rational comment I will read all year.

I couldn’t physically enter the store because of the Axe Body Spray they pumped through the air ducts.

This comment is why I hated the series Bill’s Brain.

Mock it all you want, but that “relatable zillionaire” schtick is what got us eight years of GWB and endless war crimes. They do it because it works! 

“Stick your dick in the microwave” is the simplest directive.

And if that's true, see an endocrinologist. Don't stick your dick in a Chernobyl box. 

What are the chances this guy is trolling Tucker Carlson?

I didn’t mean the people. I meant the show itself.

I’m now reminded of when Miranda Kerr gave the most bizarre dating advice. “Guys always shower women with gifts so tell him what you like“ and “The guy will always make the first move. You don’t have to do anything.”

Remember that show Iconoclasts where celebrities interviewed each other?

I wonder if parenting would be the “ultimate journey” for Alec and Hillary if they didn’t have hired help 24-7. 

There is. You don’t make whatever map is up for consideration go into effect until after an election has passed first.