Ah, I see you've played Knifey Spooney before. (Which you can do now for real, apparently: http://mashable.com/2014/10…

Now get out. You're banned from this historical society. You and your
children, and your children's children… for three months.

The story of the Simpson family began in the Old
Country. I forget which one exactly. My dad would drone on and on about
America. He thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Sliced
bread having been invented the previous winter.

And if you get eaten, it's your owwnnnnnnn fault!

As is "Purple is a fruit".

That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.

Nobody likes Milhouse!

"Tip 1: Live each day like it's your last." *cuts to Homer crying by the side of the road*

The Stooges Syndrome!

Record stores have always seemed crazy to me. Music is none of my business.

Lousy Smarch weather.

Which reminds me of the whole "Lisa, I want to buy your rock" hilarity.

Lisa: Watch it, Dad, you're the highly suggestible type.
Homer (proud): Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.

I've done everything the Bible says! Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!

She is my sister, her birthday, I missed-a!

For more minor Simpsons character goodness: http://the-toast.net/tag/th…

Laughing time is over.

I never get sick of 'Buy nothing day'!

Make a significant dent in my to-read, to-watch and to-listen to lists. Stop adding so many things to these lists. Actually follow up on things that people recommend to me. Be more open to new things. Share more of my favourite things with others. Stop being such a completionist. Find more critics who are the perfect…

Haha, can I interest you in a Ritz salad?