But now you can start making cool rules like, everyone on the PTSA has to wear a uniform. Also, they all must address you as ‘Person of steel’. Then, put the naysayers in a drafty unwelcoming area of the room so they KNOW you don’t need their kind. THEN abolish elections and take your place as Emperor/Empress of PTSA,…

This is my eighth full week of exercise. I’ve just been walking 3 to 4 days a week. So to celebrate, I brought some new makeup as a treat. I don’t usually wear makeup but I want to start wearing it a little.

I celebrated my birthday this week by getting blackout wasted (the fun kind). Except now I’m paying for it.

My divorce is final. My ex is a nice man, but great relief at no longer being required to be around his narrow-minded parents (racist, etc). The separation encouraged me to adopt the love of my life.

This makes me think about the fine edge between competent and incompetent, and how we can maintain competence in some areas while being totally ass-out in others. I mean, her paperwork is in order; she has a license and presumably makes car payments. And also might be a naked rooftop banshee.

How horrifying. But also, how gratifying to hear that the rescue people on the scene seemed to be legitimately concerned for her safety and dignity.

Whats the mixture of a tiger and a lion?

Good evening Jezzies! Hope you’re all fabulous. No complaints here. I’ve been planning a non-profit donation event for my work for months now and today was the day and it went swimmingly. Bosses thanked me for my efforts so whew, employed a bit longer at least 😜

It’s GREEN AND GOLD!

Guys I am so upset!

Damn straight. It’s exquisitely on-point of her to bring up the plight of working full-time mothers and how they can’t support their families, and expand the conversation away from Hollywood. As long as it looks like she’s being punished by being in this for a penny, she decided to get in for a pound. I mean, even…

Yep. “I haven’t had carbs in five years. I’m miserable! Why the hell aren’t you miserable? You should be miserable too!”

Right? I tend to think people like that are just pissed because they spend their entire lives keeping that last twenty pounds off and beautiful women like Ashley are comfortable and perfect and might I say FUCKING GORGEOUS without that sort of effort.

Or as much as they hate themselves...

It’s such a double standard. And in addition to the cigarette pushing, all that plastic surgery can’t exactly be “healthy”either; toxic botox injected in skin, unnecessary anesthesia, foreign objects inserted into boobs, risk of infection etc etc. Why does she think that she can be unhealthy and still be a model and…

Man... she dislikes fat people so much, even her cigarettes are slim!

Valium.

This is insane. I feel like....I worry that my head will explode. Good news this is my view from my hotel right now!

A Boob Barker, if you will?

*whispers* But but but I like Mumford & Sons.