Shiiit, I was blinded by the flag but those are just offensive. These men have lost all their shoe privileges.

Well there’s good news and bad news and good news. Good news: my septum piercing looks AHHHHMAZING. Bad news: I’m still not as cute as this dog. Good news: I get to hang out with this impossibly cute dog. Overall big win.

Special relationship my ass.

But do you think he's got like the American flag on the soles or something?? Because that would be some brilliant shade.

...I finally get why my American friends keep using the brexit hashtag today. File under: things I should have understood sooner.

Spectacular.

My first thought was “when did Tom Hiddleston need backup dancers??”

Raise your hand if you feel personally attacked and victimized by Nigel Farage’s shoes.

Gross, that sucks. If you have to accept, I’d do it as if she was a child - “do you understand why what you did made me uncomfortable? Do you promise to never do it again?” Otherwise you’ll ground her for a month.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. Wow. Yep, that makes a scary amount of sense now. You're the bomb, thank you!

PROUD OF YOU

Who hasn't, my friend, who hasn't... I hope it was cute underwear!

Hear hear, margaritas should be a beautiful alcoholic slushie!

Cheers!

I’m house-sitting for my parents because they have more of a life than I do! Here’s to no plans!

OH GIRL. Ok so I keep having insane dreams since I started back on SSRIs. Mostly about fighting with my parents, even though our relationship has been really good lately. Any thoughts? They're always about really intense arguments that result in lots of crying on my part.

Gonna go get my septum pierced. Because nothing fixes a broken heart like having a hole poked in your face. Then finishing off my pink wine!

The MJ sign-off feels kinda icky though.

NOPE

Unless someone can recommend a product to keep me from sweating like I’ve just stuck my head under a waterfall, I will insist on being miserable.