I took an acting class with this guy in college. He was so fucking cool (like he was photographing M.I.A.’s concert and she spit on him?? touched by greatness?? idek) and I want to be him when I grow up. But he wrote this article about his first tattoo - and yes, it’s Ferdinand.

Megyn Kelly: Troll-Baiter.

I'm glad Taylor Swift has had a change of heart - she was a teenager when she started out but she learned and grew. I'm all about that character development.

I was so confused by that before and after. Like, it gives you the toned arms of a black woman?? Oh, no, the sleeves are still on. :/

I still laugh when I think about the family that lead the Natural Family Planning classes at my church who had like five kids and then three surprises. So effective.

Side note: seriously loving that coat.

Yeah, this is the entire point of the plastic. So those enormous stud earrings don't make your lobes sag.

It’s almost too much beauty for one photo.

I’m always like “uh, I’m gonna say that’s an E, but only because I already knew it was an E, not because I can actually see it, sorry for cheating.”

I am all about a good makeup investment.

This is an EXCELLENT comprehensive list, thank you!

I felt thirsty for the entire day, I think it was my way of mourning the loss of my Pepsi. And thanks! I’m glad your sister is sharing all the Sephora goodness!

You are awesome, thank you! I believe I’ve seen you on xoVain a time or two, so I am glad to have a beauty aficionado’s opinion.

Omg, not the tampons. I would call it a dick move, but I suppose it’s more of a uterus move?

MAKEUP QUESTION OF GREAT IMPORT

Is this the genius flowing through me or am I hyperventilating?

Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. This is why I could never peer review anyone else’s poetry in college. The intentions are so often good, but the embarrassment (that I feel) is too intense.

Probably not intended as a jab, but I can totally see how Taylor would perceive it that way and be sensitive to it, especially given past events (I’m looking at you, ‘Ye).

Bunch of AAASholes.

Maybe he’s just a big fan of DuckTales? I, for one, managed to wear out every DuckTales VHS that my local Blockbuster carried back in the day. But between me and Scott, only one of us has any chance of actually getting to five through piles of money like Scrooge McDuck. :(