Dude, do you have Bobby’s personal cell number or something so you can text him about how hard you’re going to bat for him here? Activision Blizzard has legally been a merged entity for a half a dozen fucking years now. Don’t be a pedantic piece of shit.

And stopping said hot lady (who is a ruler) from being forcibly married to another ruler.

Except he isn’t a father or a husband. The man has actively whined in an interview about not being able to go on a date because when women Google him they see his photo with devil horns on it. Hey Bobbers, maybe don’t be the devil.

Except that just taking the first name on his list, Miyamoto IS the CEO of Nintendo. The fact that they have a different title in a Japanese company notwithstanding. They just happen to also provide something of value to the industry itself rather than existing solely for the purpose of fellating shareholders.

I actually drove one of them when I was in high school. So...yes, a millenial will in fact remember this car.

This falls a little flat for me.

Can’t say it in my head without “ain’t” in place of aren’t. I’m too much from Georgia.

Dear Sarah,

Simple solution (aside from don’t vape) is “Don’t buy after market weed carts form some rando in the Walmart parking lot.”

Gross: someone puked in the 6” gap between the window and seat, and the delta flight attendants refused to do anything “because were not janitors” Disgusting: dirtbag parents sat a special needs girl next to her grandmother(who promptly fell asleep) only to leave the girl crying and an emotional wreck as they watched…

I don’t know what’s happening here, but it looks sweet as hell.

I’ve never in my life understood this one. If you want to manicure your face and pluck your eyebrows, you do you. But when you end up looking like you shaved them off and painted on new ones with a roller. Girl sit down.

If this motherfucker is dapper then my bearded, lazy, currently pajama wearing ass is suave.

The collecting is for completionist folks like me. Progression so far is just tied to doing what's asked of you/beating bosses

Per Luis during the panel “We’re not coming out soon. Not even Blizzard soon.” So based on what happened to the direction and styling of D3 from reveal to release I’m officially checking out of the whole affair until it can actually be seen as playable and release ready.

Thank you for this. Just..damn what a write up. I wasn't sure if I'd get the game when it released and now I feel like it's essential.

The inclusion of candy corn is monstrous

Barry tweeted he’s been fired.

I’m literally keeping you guys up in a tab all day because I intend to give you a click on every single article while you’re doing this. I can’t make the US gov’t fire Spanfeller and co. into the sun, but I can at least chime in here.

It was a terrible year for all the reasons listed in the article before it even gets to the Hong Kong portion. But you’re a dick, so you’re ignoring that because you like to be “snarky”