But it’s about as exciting for a kid as elmers glue.

You forgot step 5: “Verify bill is flat, crack open a 24 oz. Monster, and put on some Limp Bizkit.”

A giant comes with a big ring of keys, opens the front of the machine up, and refills it with cars from a box he bought from the wholesale store. Then he locks everything again and leaves until the machine needs filling again.

I actually have had a dealership call me and say I was overcharged (out of state purchase, confusion about the sales tax reciprocity agreement between the states). Did not need to sign a new contract though, they just mailed a check. Good way to earn repeat business.

Just for you, Jason:

My Mini Cooper S used to get me mugged all the time.

Great video. The Gullwing is the GOAT.

If I’m going to get something overly complex that is likely to break expensively, I say go big or go home. Get something German so those parts are even more expensive:

It gets to the heart of I fear I’ve had before... What if you bought a truck used and was unaware of, and never used the switch, but it was discovered by an asshole cop who now charges you with “intent to roll coal” even though you didn’t have any such intent.

I don’t want an alarm in my classic car, but a previous…

Yearly testing for senior citizens and affordable mass transit. Until then, stories like this one will be all too common.

“None of you seem to understand. I’m not locked in here without you. YOU’RE LOCKED OUT THERE WITHOUT ME!”

They hid a swarm of bees in the glovebox.

For the love of all things holy, Nissan, the answer is staring you right in the face. JUST BUILD IT!

Fuck Wall Street. This “Street” punished American Airlines stock because they decided to give their employees raises while they, according to some analysts, gave their shareholders sloppy seconds. I know AA has nothing to do with Jalopnik, but fuck Wall Street.

Does not compute.

So, you’re saying that this was a revenge ruling? That makes it more bullshit, not less.

“What were you thinking? You could have been robbed!”

You have to LS everything in America. Why do you think people had to immigrate through LS island?

As a landlord who has had tenants dig fire pits and allow a dog to dig up most of their yard I want to kick you in the gonads. My tenants promised that they would fix the damage when they left. This was three months before end of lease. Their ‘fix’ was to toss grass seed in the holes and leave. They didn’t understand…

As a guy who is painstakingly trying to level and re-seed bald spots in my backyard right now, I’m about to cry. However, the enthusiast in me cries tears of joy. But I’m also a landlord, so we’re back to sad tears again. Cognitive Dissonance is a bitch.