You almost had it, but then you had to include that dismissive line about the Beastie Boys. Go ask Chuck D about them.

your reading comprehension is poor.

an one of the most innovative men to ever live

“Prometheus” is empty trash, they should have stopped after “Aliens,” thank you for coming to my Ted talk

lol no he is just an asshole in real life

That’s not the question Republicans are asking. Their question is “how do we pwn the libs?” They are drenched in the blood of children and they don’t care.

Jesus Christ, that was word salad that deserves no attention whatsoever. Middle-of-the-road horseshit serving only one purpose: Getting McConaghuey elected in Texas without pissing off too many Republicans - you know, the people with the fucking blood of children on their hands. Fuck him and fuck them. 

where she expressed no regrets after enduring a media firestorm selflishly endangering the lives of everyone around her.

Could you maybe be bothered to get basic facts correct before publishing, like the ethnicity of the suspected shooter?

This guy had serious addictions and he tried talking to the people in his life about what he was going through and you say that shit? FUCK YOU.

Fuck you.

4 pounds is a MASSIVE heart. Not possible. 

I saw Chicken Soup For The Soul-branded dog food at the pet store. I am not joking.

ftfy

Suburban white women will pay for illegal abortions.

lol religion and cockroaches, there is no “getting rid” of either

Cupcakes have too much goddamn frosting. That’s the problem. Cut the frosting, no hack necessary.

there’s a point where I just don’t think we need to keep giving air to Kanye’s endless shenanigans.

“I knew this abuser for like 3 months, so you can trust my assessment.”

Just want to assure anyone who might be curious that “The Jesus Rolls,” Turturro’s movie about the Jesus character, is terrible.