Honey, if you're husband is showering 2-3 times a day, maybe he's pulling a Kevin Spacey in American Beauty.

Have you read Kindred by Octavia Butler? The protagonist expresses that exact sentiment. She goes back in time and meets her ancestors who were slaves and also those who were plantation owners and slavers, and gets trapped in that world for a long time before she is able get back to stay in her own time. It is a…

That's a point that was made in the first season of Sleepy Hollow (before it became All Crane Love Story All The Time.) In one episode Ichabod makes a speech about how he feels proud of his "ancestors" fighting for freedom, etc., and then catches Abbie's eye and falters. He's realizing that the freedom he fought for…

I know, right? Fellow strong minded Black Woman here. There is no other time period other than this one i'd want to live in. Maybe Harlem during the 20's but that's about it.

In her spare time, the chef from David's story enjoys Russian Roulette, eating glass, and arm-wrestling silverback gorillas during their mating season.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the tale of Saint Basil Fuckoff, the patron saint of waiters and bartenders.

She tourniquets her arm at the elbow with an ice pick and towel, washes the blood off, puts the offending knife onto the gas fire, heats it to a nice brick red and...wait for it...cauterize her own arm.

I'm with you, Kelly. It fits her like a fucking dream and also makes it look like she was down to just grab Grandma's damask tablecloth, tie it on and shout, "LET'S DO THIS, MOTHERFUCKERS"

They're publishers. By definition they're out of touch with the industry they work with.

I still have no idea why publishers still do this.

what would have granted them the opportunities to have advanced their profiles prior to obtaining a 'first-time director' gig? And what structures would privilege their interview responses?

You literally just jumped to the conclusion that white dudes are intrinsically better at being directors.

I'd say as early as possible. If you lived in that town in Canada that's overrun with polar bears (which happily kill and eat people), you wouldn't wait to tell them polar bears are dangerous and how to avoid being killed by one. You'd drill that lesson into their heads the minute they were born.

I heard an alternate version:

I've seen the slowdown instructions described as "only arrest someone if you have to".

Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Q: How many cops does it take to kick a poor person down the stairs?


A: He fell.

They actually cut off the column after one letter... the full grade for the US is "Can you people do anything right for just one goddamn year? Seriously. Oh, yeah, awesome, John Boehner again. Are you people insane?"

Well, looks like it's back to diapers for me.

YES. BOOM.