Childhood is insisting you are too grown up for a nap. Adulthood is wishing desperately that you could squeeze in a nap.

Guys, I am super impressed and terrified. I fired a handgun for the first time over Christmas break (thanks to the bf's Wisconsin fam) and it was exciting and terrifying and I have made respect for them. They're so heavy! And loud! And holyfuckingshit they blow serious holes in stuff. I can't even imagine shoving one…

This woman did not have a vagina. She had a personal Bag of Holding.

Right? I'm totally uncomfortable and out of sorts if my regular-sized tampon is slightly askew. I can't even imagine having a gun up there.

That's awful.

"Damn, and here I thought I was the biggest pussy here."

P.S: candidate should be ok with possibly being murdered and buried under the floorboards.

it was already done before TARA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I believe it was Tina Fey who said: "Helen Mirren is not proof that there are parts for older women, Helen Mirren is proof that there are parts for Helen Mirren."

If you are trying to pretend that you're still the young buck when you're my age, it just doesn't work.

That's because Bush spent more than an entire year of his 8 years in the White house on vacation. Obama spends two weeks a year on vacation like the rest of America.

No. They gave him grief for breaking the record for Presidential vacation days.

Conservatives are mad, you say?

Democrats and liberals regularly beat him up over taking vacation time.

Since it's apparently my responsibility not to get raped, I guess I'll continue doing what's worked so far: not using Uber.