You don’t have to cut what doesn’t grow.

It is kind of embarrassing that college kids have more integrity and are more invested in ensuring a fair election of a student body president than adults who were elected to serve the people in federal government do about the goddamn president of the United States.

Exactly. Oppression is only real when it happens to you or someone who looks like you.

Yes!! This is where the difference lies. Concepts like “Diversity” apply only to the inclusion of straight white men. Just like how “freedom of speech” only applies to speech that adheres to the conservative platform.

disqualified following rumors of intimidation tactics and a failure to disclose financial information

Meanwhile, he will come right out and say “that is a lie” about true statements that you make.

Jesus Christ. It is chilling how much this resembles trying to debrief my five year old daughter twenty minutes after some silly meltdown - except she doesn’t have fucking committees and nemeses in the newsmedia and so on to obfuscate with.

More like YamaGotcha, ami rite!

@All Over But The Sharting: By spending money we don't have of course! Aren't college loans great.

@RulonJonesy: Yeah, well, so were you Delts, Pikes, Sig Eps, Phi Delts, Fijis, SAEs, ATOs, DX.......

@Fendi Hotdogbun: No, his dog enjoys anal intercourse.

R. Kelly's story is remarkably similar to Joe's, only he's not facing away, and the cute girl still has one foot in her My Little Pony jammies.

At least now we know who bin Laden is talking about when, in his tapes, he praises Allah for "cock-blocking Josh, that infidel dog."

she wants it doggy style

It all actually ended up working out great for me. Liz and I are coming up on three years together in January

@David Hume: "Yeah, that it, baby, take it all. Don't you go anywhere, you're next.

"Enter, the Dragon" is actually the inscription on Lou's personalized Fleshlight.

Nine eleven rolled in a Drunken Hookup Failure story.

@wilsonchandlersgerminfestedtoo...: But then how do you know if you need to wash your cock?

I always keep a flask under my pillow, so that if I get so drunk that I'm seeing double, I can keep boozing, and fuel the illusion that I'm having a threesome with my girlfriend and her twin. It's pretty hot.