Juuuun Snuuuuu.

This is what blows my mind: Hillary sits through eleven goddamn hours of interrogation like she’s Neo at the end of the Matrix. She pulls off, arguably, the best DNC of my lifetime (I’m 30), and absolutely nukes Trump in the debate. And she’s not killing him in the polls!

And yet the media is what got him this far.

Donald “i like people who weren’t captured” Trump said something offensive about servicemembers? Donald let-me-antagnoize-the-grieving-parents-of-a-man-who-died-for-our-country Trump said something offensive about servicemembers?

Appropriate since Trump is the Episode 1 of american politics. A bloated ugly mess that no one asked for and that creates fractures and hate among the community to this day.

This is the result of a lifetime of immunity from bad behavior.

I went on a date once, and I was invited by the woman back to this incredible loft where she was dog-sitting for out-of-town friends.

So Machado doesn’t actually have a sex tape, but Trump does. This election cannot possibly get any weirder.

Since the Mango Mussolini (stolen from a commenter at Huffpo) does not bother to read documents, especially long documents, placed before him, can someone slip an election concession agreement to him and just say it’s a really long lease.

My favorite Hillary comment came after the debate:

Not quite the same thing, but one of my favorite Kinja comments ever was on an article about a teacher who instructed his students to create a Venn diagram of George W. Bush and Hitler:

You guys. I figured out why I love Beast so much. He’s basically Toby Ziegler.

Beauty & the Beast was one of my most favorite Disney movies, until I became an adult and realized that the story is creepy as fuck. Oh well. I still want a big yellow ballgown with off-the-shoulder sleeves and a giant library.

Except the “beast” is a person. And a metaphor.

RE: Sam Bee

You know what Mariah’s schtick is? Five octaves.

Megyn Kelly showed up as she continues the long, slow march towards the end of her contract. Her coworker Sean Hannity took a break from shining Donald Trump’s shoes to ask him a few questions following the debate.

perfect gif is perfect

It depends. In your scenario does he not shut the fuck up about Islam or rep a Muslim equivalent of a hateful group like Focus on the Family?

This is the darkest timeline