I believe that the joke you were looking for is “This is the farthest a predator has gotten in Nashville since $1 Shot Night at the Tequila Cowboy.”

Metroid Prime was the 5th best seller for the GameCube and Prime 3 sold 1.4 million units. It is a property that people like.

What do New Yorkers have to do with anything?

We have a winnah!

Hearts in one hand, D batteries in the other.

Eventually Gabe will just be one big set of bangs. No head. Just bangs with arms.

“The best there was, the best there is, the best there ever will be.”

I couldn’t find what the record is, but I’m guessing it was Joe Sewell, who struck out 4 times in 699 PA in 1925.

Damn. Now I gotta pop in Them Crooked Vultures.

Looks like Burneko is gonna need some new pants.

Pineda is by far the most frustrating pitcher to watch. He’s either totally dominant (like today) or the second coming of Andy Hawkins ( like last start).

“I’m on it!”-Draymond Green

John Sterling. Just everything, in general.

This is the correct answer.

I broke a TV remote and a chair watching that when I was 19.

It’s Kinja. Everyone is terrible here!

The only good game related April Fool’s jokes: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electronic_Gaming_Monthly

I like the Money Pit.

Welp.