Well no one's exactly writing articles about the super sweet guys. Some people learn as early as grade school that it's the assholes that get the attention. Squeaky wheel and all that.

I wonder if she's envisioning those sperm-shaped eyebrows...

I feel your pain, Chyna. That's the face I make when I'm taking a painful dump.

Awww look, she even mentioned us in her blog. How sweet.

Thank you! I told Abe someone thought he was a cute kitteh and he slow blinked his eyes in approval. I hope you find a wonderful shelter pet that will love you forever. They're the best kind. =)

He would loooove that. This is the nicest cat I've had in years. The exact opposite of Smithers, who hisses at me when I walk in the room now and would never tolerate me petting him more than a few seconds. I just wish I could get him to sleep at night... or sleep, period. He's so active.

Aww he looks like my chubby kitty, with the black mask and mantle. Mr Smithers eats low-fat cat food, but he's absolutely addicted to lunch meat. He will sit on the kitchen counter and yowl all night til I come down and give him a pinch.

This is my newest baby "Abe" who I adopted from the SPCA yesterday. As you can see, he loves the sink. :)

I hope this cop meets with an unfortunate accident. You know the kind.

Oh this makes me miss Michael Bluth so much.

Now now, I'm sure Egg has many lovely qualities. She must be funny or something, right?

You know, if female butterflies don't want to be raped, they should just keep their wings closed! That'll solve everything.

Pomegranate body wash is awesome. Just sayin'.

Blue Valentine was such a depressing movie... after all the hype for the Ryan Reynolds/Michelle Williams oral sex scene, I wasn't expecting to get my SOUL CRUSHED.

I know I say this every time Jezebel posts a Teen Mom recap, but I stand firm: She shoulda had an abortion.

I'm surprised they even placed 12th. That kiss was bad enough but when a show choir writes their songs the night before the competition, what can you expect? They deserved to lose. It's like what Jesse said to Mercedes: how many times did you practice? (practice? what's that?) and where was your choreography? Oh…

Good for you, Chelsea. I'm glad she came forward as an example of someone who had an abortion, acknowledges that is was the right thing to do, and isn't scarred for life from it. I still don't find her brand of "comedy" funny though.

Absolutely, I'd love a roommate! I never imagined I would be so desperately lonely once I got out of school, but there you go. I'll keep your place neat and sterile as an operating room, you keep me in an amphetamine-induced haze: it's all good!

I love housework. I could do it all day: doing laundry, vacuuming, scrubbing my bathroom til it's sparkling clean.... Of course, I'm also an unemployed college grad on Adderrall, so that probably has something to do with it.

Anyone who would be aroused by sheep rape isn't someone whose opinion I care to listen to.