Rape is the only crime that is pretty much exclusively motivated by deriving pleasure and power from inflicting pain on someone else. There are other crimes that sometimes are, but rape is unique in that there isn’t another logical objective. IMO it says a lot more about a person’s character than a crime motivated by…

Honestly, it’s one of the most evocative and spot-on Ebony covers I’ve ever seen. As much as I love a well-lit shot of a black celebrity wearing cream and/or white, I hope there is more of this kind of cover to come.

If I knew Cosby weren’t profiting financially from re-runs, I’d feel a lot better about them being on. That’s one reason art created by deas sociopaths bothers me less than living ones. I’m not furthering the sociopathic behavior of dead people.

I’m single and honestly I do not know how so many people fit a partner into their life. It just seems like the amount of sacrifice would be so huge just to commit to spending a ton of time together.

But seriously folks, let’s all live alone and die alone and expect nothing. Nothing except cats. Beautiful loyal cats. They will stick with you until the end. And then they will eat you so you can be together even longer.

What happens when you walk in to a bar together?

I was most definitely an incredibly active member on a Buffy the Vampire Slayer message board for a good chunk of my life and I have ZERO SHAME ABOUT IT.

They chased it out? I guess they haven’t heard of Brown Bear v. Board of Education up in Montana.

Yeah, see, that’s why I always appreciated someone putting a reference to Jesus/their Christianity in their online dating profile. If it’s important enough to you to mention it in that short about you space, then we won’t get along. And that’s OK! Why waste time on people who don’t share the most important part of…

If it’d been a bear, the second half of that story would’ve incorporated poop.

humanipee.

I felt at once violated and plain elated. She was unperturbed and just chilled drinking my delicious #PEE (#humblebrag) so I stayed around to establish my dominance. But basically just made pointless searing eye contact with a guilty, laser-eyed vegetarian for about the 100th time in my life.

Deer was all like...

Banned foods include everything that make this wretched existence worth suffering through for another day.

Cool. This one time, I was camping and it was dark. I turned off my lamp and squatted to #PEE somewhere in the trees. Started to get that feeling somebody’s watching me and heard a distinct... lapping??? noise? So I spun around with my pants down and there was a deer drinking my #PEE straight from the tap, under my…