“Sir, can you tell us a little bit about... *checks notes* ....what exactly it is that you do here?”

Pence’s head would have exploded if only Pastor Franklin ended his sermon with this...

“a black mother whose child forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer”

“Sure is. But also, fuck Austin Rivers, so the Rockets players will all split a one game suspension between them.” - Adam Silver

Non story. The only reason she was spotted under a highway underpass was simply because she was trying to get an interview with Johnny Manziel.

I for one hope that AP Bio realistically portrays Toledo as the shithole that it is. The lighting in that promo was way too bright to accurately be Ohio, and the high school kids were far too healthy and normal-looking to be believable.

“SWALLOWED A PEN BECAUSE NO ONE PAID ATTENTION TO HIM”

So AV Club like Transformers: Last Knight; and The Mummy?

Yes.

Congratulations Alabama!

I can’t believe they spoiled the surprise ending where it turns out the whole movie is a stealth Marvel prequel about a young Mr. Fantastic.

He’s sterile and can’t carry disease. Pre-condoms, everyone on the planet would want to have hot monkey sex with him.

but for a guy that [says he] lives clean and sober,

6-43 shooting?

This reminds me of one of Ann Coulter’s greatest hits, when a journalist asked her what her favorite scriptures were. After a brief moment of looking like a deer in headlights, she said “the one where Jesus beat up the money changers at the temple!”

This is just going to end up being bundled in with his suits against his barber and eybrow threader.

Fake news. When was the last time Fellaini did anything with his feet?

I look forward to him elbowing New Balance’s lawyers in the face while the judge who saw the whole thing does absolutely nothing.

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Dak was exposed in the 1st Philly game last year, Vikes, and Giants. Focus on the run and make him beat you through the air with his arm. He can’t do it, his accuracy is shit and he has no confidence because of it. The message just got out to other teams this year.