THATS NOT WHAT PORN SAYS

so,

Very true. (and I think they’re out of business. Coincidence?)

What I want to know is, where the heck did he get a leather jacket for $400? I can’t find any under $500.

I mean, Gosling seems a bit precious but Brolin is a violent alcoholic who continues to work, in much the same vein as Penn.

Just me or does Jypsy White sound like a brand of heroin?

I cannot give a moist fart what a 13 year old on Twitter thinks.

LOL. Just the other day I was with my wife at one of those strip malls that has a Best Buy and a Michaels and a Barnes and Noble. They had an Ulta so I asked her if it was like Sephora. She’s like: “They wish. I bought something there once and never went back.” So.....there’s that.

That’s terrifying and hilarious - but I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you. I’ve been seen before by family and strangers alike with my boobs flopping around wildly as I slap at my body frantically - after ripping my top off. Sometimes in the chaos, my bra gets hiked up. Hmmm, now that I think about it,…

Hey-oh!

Knowing that people act like this makes me feel less like an asshole for going back for 4ths when they have bacon samples.

Nutella won’t be the only thing with a nut in it.

LOLZ!!!!

Nicki Minaj: I definitely think we have a normal relationship off camera. We’re like any other couple in the hood.

Yep. Dude is about to get dumped

Years ago I worked in a pub with probably one of the dumbest people I have ever met.

I worked a Little Ceasars inside a K-Mart. I was just trying to make some money over my summer holiday and they were giving me tons of hours. One day we are swamped and this dude nearly lunges over the counter to grab me asking where his pizza was. I asked who took his order and he pointed to my coworker. It was like…

OK, so totally off topic, but best one-sentence yelp restaurant review ever.

Definite Darwin Award one for you.

I was at a local sandwich shop and asked for some sandwich to be made without cheese. The woman making the sandwich states that there isn’t cheese in the sandwich even after I point at the menu that details the mozzarella in the sandwich. Her co-worker points out, yes, the sandwich has cheese and that they can abide…