Mine just wants to be licked.

MY GOD WHO WOULD GO TO THE DOCTOR WITHOUT SHOWERING?

Those poor kids.

Oliver is the one that shoved the airport worker and he is 5’10, Cafe Fuego was Gabriel’s restaurant, and he never put a relaxer in their daughter’s hair, he blow dried her hair. She had to later admit that herself. Gabriel is 6’2, and was a sucessful model before he met her. Oliver is the violent one that fucked up…

Well maybe God is just waiting for him to be struck down in his new private jet.

You wouldn’t believe how much this happened on the strip in Las Vegas! We found one little girl in the parking garage and had to wake the parents up. The told security well it doesn’t happen where we are from. Last I checked you weren’t home. Parents would let their children run through the casino by themselves. We…

I worked at the Bellagio. Do you remember the lady who would buy chocolate covered strawberries to give to the staff of our stores then rob us blind. Her husband was a high roller. I was never so happy as when they took her out of the store in handcuffs.

AAgghhhh that reminds me of the time I took my boys to the pawn shop (pawn shops are awesome in Las Vegas, sorry gamblers) and the guy took the PlayStation out of the box. It smelled like someone needed a gynecologist. I don’t know WTF went on with those controllers or what they went in. I screamed, my sons yell it…

*Patching a hole in the wall*, I smell something bad!!

Now the song is stuck in my head. I thought that was the weirdest movie ever. Didn’t ladies make out with the duck?

Yeah really, my mother said I wouldn’t want one and told everybody not to give me one. Even though I was having my second son and she said I didn’t need one for my first son who was only a year older also. I really could have used one. So she had one for my sister for her FOURTH kid, and invited everyone that wanted…

Yeah that’s their makeup “artist”. Yes I am ashamed I know that.

Well that was according to the Associated Press, it usually takes quite a while to process a crime scene with multiple injuries and deaths.

Amen to that. I couldn’t believe the attacks on you, shocking to say the least! Here I am out of vodka, that shit kind of freaked me out.

I think I would just prefer to go home, than to walk by dead bodies in the street and to go watch the game. Hey, that’s just me.

I just read that the dead bodies were still laying in the street when the game began, THREE BLOCKS AWAY.

I went to camp with a girl that did that. That story brought back bad times of her staring at your scabs. I’ve got to go lay down on my fainting couch.

I now a girl who hasn’t had access to her money for three weeks. This has been going on a lot longer than the company is admitting.

I live in Las Vegas and had many a night coming home at 6:00 AM, but when I came home at 9:30 AM I had nipple piercings. YES GOOD TIMES.

Ok what the actual fuck is going on here?