Matt Chapman has no future as a porn star

Oh really? We stumbled on a place like that called... Bearizona... if you can guess what state that was in. It was not cool.

Both the Rangers and the Cowboys play in Arlington because Arlington says yes to everything (while Dallas won’t). The Cowboys will probably re-build their stadium in like 10 years.

That puts them ahead of 17 other states. Pretty much right in the middle.

They make exceptions for 12 year old boys.

Wow, a priest actually rejected a boy?

One lucky pooch was even selected to travel with the team for the rest of the season and be screwed by the bullpen on a nightly basis.

Have you ever had a “Sonoran Style Hot Dog”? It’s sublime. I’ll let Wikipedia tell you the rest:

Bad news for the car owner. Unless your insurance provider is dyslexic, your policy rarely covers “Acts of Dog.”

Does Dazed and Confused count? It came out in 1993.