"Tremble in fear, fellow womyn! You might be unwittingly beguiled by the stink of an asymmetrical man if you ingest a birth control pill. Your friends may discover you, disoriented, gyrating your Loestrin-filled body up against a gargoyle at the end of your neighbor's driveway."

looks like justin beiber, no?

This is terrible and reinforces my belief that captivity is always wrong. It's another example of human greed leading to human loss - the loss of this trainer is tragic, but she / her industry never had any right to exploit this animal to begin with. If I ever have children, they will NOT go to Sea World or a zoo or…

My BF's dog talks like this, though we've never tried to teach him to make certain noises (other than singing along to police / ambulance sirens). This is plain old creepy! But also cute.

Why is it that on Jezebel, a site that seems to be constantly working to derail the system telling me that as a woman I am first if not solely judged by my looks, attacking the looks of women / men who have been deemed "bad" is condoned? Why do we lose focus of the topic and instead grasp desperately to an…

Where is Kevin Costner when we need him?

I appreciate the crash course in douchebaggery, however, did you have to stoop to attacking their physical appearances? Lipless? I mean, yea, it's unattractive, but not really at all relevant here, no? Don't derail the otherwise great points you made by being a hypocrite.

Love it! Did Cheerios sign off on this or is it just a (most excellent) spoof?

You have made me laugh my ass off and brightened my morning! I <3 Julianne Moore (The Kids Are Alright, anyone? Genius!) and your sunbeams and dust crumbles and when-two-narcissists-hug-each-other obvious eye rolling and fatigue with this bullshit was just the jaded I needed today. Thanks!

xhrls didn't ask you why you're part of the problem, s/he just said you are.

Is it just me or did that 911 operator do a shitty job?

Can I have back the two minutes it took to read this? Honestly what the F was the point?

I dunno, bf and i have been together a couple months and he only went downtown once... when i asked him about it he said it's just something he doesn't do (I in the meantime am gobbling more than a turkey - because i love doing it) and he was willing to have me go 'on strike' as one commenter said, but it's just…

The man is dropdead, no doubt. The kissy face picture though? Way too airbrushed blushey lipsticky no no no. The picture with a kid? My ovaries are weeping. Or is that... something... else?

I encourage this. Should they do the movie, though, or the series? yes.

here's what makes me unable to breathe:

Spock / Evil guy from Heros, yes yes yes. A million times yes!

Okay, then, let's just raise that register-for-the-draft age to 21 as well as the voting age.

lol lol

Why does it always seem to be that the stupidest people on earth / those least fit to parent anybody always have the ability to procreate?