I did it to procrastinate when I didn't want to write my master's paper!

I have a huge list of things I like to masturbate before partaking in, including but not limited to: job interviews, flights, big presentations, exams, first dates, holiday parties, and any long car ride. But I also like to masturbate for any old reason, like "I am nude and my vagina is there and I have 10 minutes to…

Heh, yes you can! Or skip 'em if the house is hot. What I love about those is they look nice, but they feel like pajamas. Good for bloated-feeling workdays, too.

Excellent reasoning..now where do we get one?

I am 56 and don't think I have worn shoes for a single T'giving in my life. I've been out showing my granddaughter (4 y/o) how to climb trees barefooted.

Doing nothing for Thanksgiving. Haven't put on pants since Tuesday night.

Halloween pajama bottoms, a nightgown that has a floral "LA" on it even though I live in NJ, fair isle fuzzy socks... fuck yeah, I'm stylish as fuck. Don't hate.

Remember what grandma said: Feed a cold; starve an amygdala.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING MARK I AM SORRY YOU ARE WORKING TODAY I WILL BRING YOU SOME TURKEY WHEN IT IS DONE. Also, I will not text my ex today. I will not do it.

So, I pick up a Picoult book if I want a delightful, guilty read of what is essentially a lifetime movie and I just love it. It is an escape from my daily life in academia.

I'm so glad none of those stupid lists were around during my divorce... People are human beings, they wanna know what's going on, they wanna understand; let them fumble through it. You're all fumbling through your divorce together. Knowing that there are a hundred ridiculous little 'rules' of etiquette doesn't make…

your dedication to trolling Jez is nothing short of astonishing, I'm actually a little impressed.

That's thing about marital spats. You fight over the stupidest shit that only married/cohabiting people fight about. We fought about apples the other day. I said we are going to stop buying them if the kids keep dropping apple cores all over the place for me to pick up. He said, "well, I'd rather them snack on fruit…

For reelz - I'm more concerned that this bit of concerned reporting on the state of the Brangelina marriage was brought to us via WOMAN'S DAY!!! I mean, if that's the case, this publicity-saavy couple has bigger things to worry about than divorce: they've been relegated to a magazine that my mother doesn't even…

I love how this is supposed to be a marraige-jeopardizing fight.

I really want their fight to be about someone constantly putting their shoes in the middle of the living room instead of in the shoe rack, or something else mundane. But it's probably about which unicorn they're going to save.

I think Angelina's right, that hat looks stupid. Get a new hat, Brad.

I'm rather glad my niece is growing up with the more recent princesses who basically say "fuck this shit, I'mma do what I want" Brave, Frozen, Princess and the Frog etc etc...It's pretty sweet actually.

Of course, if Disney really had balls, they'd pull out some of the Rejected Princesses and give them feature films…