They were slipped in for a second here and there as they’d cut to commercials. It was absolutely the only remotely clever or funny bit of the night.

Some people really, really don’t like other people enjoying things.

Kelllyanne, tragically, became a double amputee following the Bowling Green Massacre.

I’m just gonna say it: I like Coldplay. I think Chris Martin seems like a really nice, sweet, nerdy guy AND I think he’s cute. I think themed parties are fun no matter how old you are. That’s it.

Kate is everything.

My favorite Kate McKinnon bit from last night:

Shoutout to Gary Natoli who did not hold back throwing these two under the bus. Though it’s totally their fault.

Funny, because I wish Donald trump was fighting anti-Semitism.

“It’s ironic that no matter how many times he talks about this that it’s never good enough.”

Second grade. Opened my lunchbox midyear to find half a bologna sandwich, a gherkin pickle, and an empty cup to get water from the fountain. I was like, “Huh. We’re POOR.” Then I shrugged and hightailed it to the playground.

Dude, white nonsense is...EVERYWHERE

This may be my one and only chance to use this gif

Dr. Oz gives him a run for his money, though. Not to mention Eckart Tolle or the lady who wrote The Secret, who had less staying power but were somehow even dumber. There are a lot of things to admire about Oprah, but her love of facile pseudo science is not one of them

forcibly turned away by protesters Friday when she attempted to enter a DC middle school

“[Trump] called his national security advisor at 3 am with a pressing question he needed answered—is a strong or weak dollar better for the economy?”

Yeah, I’m sorry — WHAT? WHAT BELLY?! I see NO BELLY?! I see a thin woman with no belly.

She... doesn’t look pregnant at all? THAT’s considered pregnant? I... want to get off this planet.