Hi, I just had post this reply so you could see it in your notifications. It appears some asshole has hacked into your Kinja account and is posting stupid and unnecessary contrarian posts with unnecessary semantics arguments.

Pork Wine. The OTHER white wine.

If I had life to do over, I'd spend a lot more time asking for what I want.

On my fathers 50th birthday we threw him a surprise party. All eight of my siblings made the trip to be there and one of my younger brothers brought his then girlfriend and her cousin tagged along. I immediately noticed her gracefulness but at the time was going through the realization that I had failed at my chosen…

This one happened to me, relatively recently.

This is only tangentially related, but some guy at a house show asked me: "how many calories do you think you burn during sex." He wasn't trying to pick me up, he just thought he was cool by mentioning sex in a frank way. I said "none because I just lay there" and walked off. For sone reason thinking of that exchange…

I once tried to pick up an insanely cute guy at a bar on Halloween. I was dressed as Flo from the Progressive commercials and he kept telling me how cute I was. I left to go on stage at the event we were at, and when I returned, he was passed out on the bar.

In my statistics class there was a guy that all of the women (and quite a few men) thought was a raging hunk. I didn't see the allure. He was nice though. He would always sit next to me and we would chat about all sorts of things.

Pretending to be an Irish immigrant & using the accent to incredible effect. I was 18 & had a diet ménage in the basement during a house party with two 19 year olds. An accent. No american of any gender can refuse an accent.

Newly single, I ran into this hot guy I was acquainted with at a bar after my band played a show. I was like "Hey, I know you. What's your name again?"

He told me his name and my next question was "Wanna go make out in your car?"

It was a glorious summer day in drawing class so we all went out to the historical cemetery on campus to sketch. I was wearing a red sundress and I decided that I really wanted to get the attention of this one guy I'd been checking out all term.

I've read several interviews with people (men and women) involved in Precious, and all of them basically has said that she was a 'raging bitch who could not be worked with or reasoned with on any level on set'

So Lee Daniels told her that she'd been blackballed and then she didn't get roles in Empire or the Butler? Those are both Lee Daniels helmed projects, it's not like they weren't.

Sure, it's interesting, but the appropriate follow-up question is, are the other countries nuts for banning something that we find acceptable, or are we nuts for selling something that other countries ban?

there's a good chance you'll be swirling secretions from a beaver's anal glands around in your mouth.

Your advice to very young women is that they have the self-confidence and assertiveness to calmly and rationally explain to very young men that an orgasm just isn't going to happen, and you expect these young men to accept this statement maturely as something other than an assessment of their manhood. I think you've…

What are we supposed to be learning from this theory? To tell very young (early 20s) men that no we still haven't orgasmed so that they'll rub the skin off of our clitorises or painfully thrust their unskilled fingers into our orifices for 45 minutes at a stretch? Because that latter scenario actually happened. It…

Here's the biggest lie/deception that I ever perpetuated on my parents ...

When I was 14 or 15, I participated in a summer live-in college prep program at the local university. There were, IIRC, 125 other high-school kids, along with a dozen or so staff and instructors. At the beginning of the program, they distributed a whole lot of paperwork that most people never read, including a list of…

I SAID THAT I WAS AT THE BERLIN WALL THE NIGHT IT FELL DOWN, THAT I WAS MUGGED, AND THEN I MET THE POPE, AND THEN I SAVED EVERYONE FROM IMMINENT DOOM IN THE SECOND, THIRD, AND FIFTH IRAQI WARS.